My Sweet Escape

2011-12-25T05:27:00.002+03:00

woke up early, mum nag, dad talking in riddles and get annoyed when i guess wrongly. Dad said missing one more present, 10 minutes later said there's no handles on the paper bag. 1/2 hr later says one more thing... how the fuck do u want me to accomplish shit when u said it so vaguely and not together.

So Merry Fucking Xmas to all you fake shitdickheads out there.

Meet up once a year to have secret santa. The fuck? end up giving back the exact same presents. The fuck is that.

I HATE XMAS LIKE THIS. it's no longer the same.

ISn't xmas all about family in a way. when has it become giving presents to strangers u meet once a year or strangers you don't even like. AND PRETENDING TO CARE THAT THE PEOPLE U HATE HAVE A NICE FUCKING XMAS. SO FUCK U ALL

SO yeah, give it another 5 years. CNY XMAS and whatever festival will lose all the atmosphere for everrrrr.

SO YEAH I THINK IT'S LAME.

to all those people who are volunteering out there today for a good cause. I wish you the utmost good karma in the whole wide world. u guys are the awesome ones.

fuck this shit. i'm going out.

2011-12-08T20:30:00.002+03:00

#Incident no.1

Conclusion

1. You really didn't think much about it
2. You think i'm an idiot
3. You Trust me too much
4. I think you are trying to exploit me

50/50? Good and Bad

Well I will never know will i. It's either trust or not

It sucks getting a new job and starting the whole process all over again. I do realize now that i'm so not a people person.... maybe i'm simply too paranoid.

i feel so small and lost. why is the world so huge. why do i always feel like i'm the little kid and the jobs and salary i earn are just for "fun". I don't think reality hit me yet, i think it bashed my head in and i'm simply too damaged to process it.

income tax, bills, etc all these adults responsibilities...it's INSANE!!!

2011-11-29T20:55:00.002+03:00

Early Morning, received a text from my dear hk friend asking if i'm working
(for the 4 time?)

It's crazy even that on an international level i get asked this question like...forever

I am currently unemployed since August. By Choice. I'm not currently in Uni because i don't know what i want to study. Is it so wrong to not know? people around me seem to be freaking out more than i am..

People Freak Me Out.

I know i'm not moving forward, basically stuck while everyone is rushing off to be somewhere.

it scares me, but making stupid decisions because it's not a "normal" situation to be in will freak me out even more.

So now i have to think if it's a mentally sound decision to pay 60k for a degree with a specialized job scope which will take 4 years of my life and all of my brain cells. Which i can't fail, if i do badly it will rendered the degree pretty much shit ass useless which will be a very very long time ROI wise.

OR i can pay around 30+k for a pretty general degree which i can excel in because it will be easier and more common. and basically be stuck in a job which i will forever hate and contemplate murder all the time.

I hate clubbing now, I hate the part of going home feeling like shit and feel shit about feeling like shit and feel shit that i went in the first place. The shitty part is...i forgot about all the shit i felt and do it again. IT'S A VICIOUS CYCLE.

I can't go overseas and study, what about my baby lipton. I look for him when i wake up, i look for him when i use the toilet, i call for him when i'm eating, i just need him to be in my frickin sight all the time. I thought love for this is at this Max level, but it increases every single fucking minute. I'm going to be a shitface mess if he dies...which he will and i am prepared for that in the far fetch future long long time away.

I may sound like a crazy cat lady...but we have a name: Cat Mommies. and I have cat mommies friends all over the world. and lipton is not a cat. he is my baby and my mum can't even scold or spank him cuz i will get real pissed.

If my child is ever allergic to cats or dogs or whatever. I will rub his/her face in fur everyday till the allergy is Fixed. This is how much i love animals.

I have been pestering my parents to let me have a dog...so today we were talking about abortions and mum mentioned she had two....and she said maybe Lipton is one of the aborted one. So i told my sis: We can have one more... (i'm going to hell for this)

2011-11-07T20:01:00.002+03:00

I was in the kitchen preparing tea and my cat was waiting for me by the fridge. As i turn to ask him what he wants, the dishes "collapse" in the sink. You know when you don't put them properly and they lose balance and makes a clatter. Well what the hell that happen and it startled me a abit but that's like normal stuff but why collapse now i didn't even go near the sink or put dishes in them. SO THE CRAZY PART IS my CAT'S REACTION. He Plonk his cute ass down and eyes big and all staring at the sink direction. and his tail was like flipping from side to side with a force not those lazy swagger swing they do.

HE kept STARING i kept talking to him and he ignores me. So i carried him up and he freaking stretch his head all the way to the sink direction again and stare somemore. OKAY grab tea and walk outta there.

It's just like when he just sits and stare into the corner of the room. Well Corners are just freaky when i found out from my uncle about Corners.

Well apparently according to his frend who can see stuff like the other spirits and what not, they usually appears thru the corners of the house. it's like their portal or smth. So yea Corners are freaky.

I'm not scared of ghostly stuff, clear conscience and all. no worries right?

Last year when i was still working, a colleague pass away in an accident during new years day and shortly after i started working there. So i was crazy early in the office one day around 7.30am. Doors are all locked, no open windows, lights off, dark as shit and i don't on all the lights being abit green and all, i do try to save resources.

Crazy shit was i heard keyboard typing sound, so when the office is freaking dark and quiet u can hear yr own breathing, that's creepy. I didn't think much of it so i went around the cubicles and offices to see who is in. Yupps. No one. it was pretty cool how i handled it, i sat back down in my chair and played some music.

I'm just not okay with actually seeing them, I hope not..like ever.

2011-10-19T07:47:00.003+03:00

Eating Bamboo Like a Boss

Crazy Blue Lake

September Vacation with My Sister & Parents & Aunties & Uncle & Cousin & Dad's Friends. Basically Alot of people

Work Ended in August, Now Oct, Still hanging around doing nothing. IT'S KILLING ME, I can't understand why some people can not work for years on end... 2 months i'm almost going crazy. IT'S DEPRESSING. But i need to focus to get my whatever exams left over and done with. Then job hunting or School Hunting

Preparing to go Taiwan with Char again next week. Hopefully all goes well and we don't exceed luggage weight. Taiwan for vainpots like us = quite hardcore.

Been hearing alot of JAPAN holiday plans. relatives saying it's cheap la. blah blah blah, no need worry about radiation. blah blah blah.. Seriously do they even know what the hell is radiation? you don't see them partying down in chernobyl do you. Come on la, Jap will come clean with the extend of the damages done?

"Because some of the isotopes released during a nuclear accident remain radioactive for tens of thousands of years, cleanup is the work not just of first responders but also of their descendants and their descendants' descendants. Asked when the reactor site would again become inhabitable, Ihor Gramotkin, director of the Chernobyl power plant, replies, "At least 20,000 years."

I'm not being Paranoid.. I just don't wanna die. Lol.

2011-07-13T18:07:00.002+03:00

Sometimes parents can expect too much from their children

Sometimes Kids lose the ability to be kids

Sometimes tragedy strikes

Sometimes everyone just needs to know when to stop

Sometimes being good isn't good enough

Sometimes you do stupid things and you regret them

Sometimes you just need to show a little fury

I can't get rid of my temper, I'm trying to rein it in but i can never not show it

I can't be a pro golfer in less than under a year but I'm trying my very best to grasp it.

I can't be an experienced driver in just under 2 years but I'm trying to be a better driver everyday

I can't not never make mistakes, I'm still young and learning

I can't have all the common sense in the world, sometimes it just eludes me and i have to learn it the old fashion way

I can't achieve an awesome job immediately, I have to work towards it

I always thank some divine power somewhere that i'm a stronger daughter, else my dad would have broke me long long time ago.

I am quite awesome already and i'm proud that I have achieved many things in such a short frame of time. So yes, not fishing for compliments but it's nice to be praised once in a while.

As this chapter is drawing to a close, i'm seeing an ugly ending for me and i'm actually okay closing on a bad chapter. My Next book will be a good one because i'll have the freedom to write what i want.

I truly wish certain people the best of luck and genuinely hope they have a brighter future ahead of them. They showed me that good people exists, aside from all the ugliness i see around me, they are the flowers amongst the cow shit

Ugly people made me do ugly things - this is one challenge i have yet to conquer. It's real tough but i'm trying.

I have made a couple of new plans so i'm able to keep moving forward should i decide to abandon ship. I am okay earning peanuts doing what i love and not fear the judgment i'll receive. I guess i'm done caring about what people think of me

No one can make you feel like a failure unless you allow it.

2011-07-10T18:03:00.002+03:00

My Blog Posts seem to have Bipolar.

One moment it's a happy post, next moment it's a depressing post.

Well, fuck it here we are yet again A FUCKING DEPRESSING POST

I didn't enjoy clubbing at all these few weeks, first - I FUCKING HATE PUKING, second - I don't drink alot, people tease me like non-stop, Third - I can't get high without risking puking so that leaves me in a terribly sober and alert state to every little things that happen around me. And i hate it when people ignore or dismiss me. So fuck you all.

Clubbing - Makes me feel damn fake, shallow and childish. I get in the cab in the wee morning hours and ask myself, why the fuck do i do this.

The thought of going overseas to study seems so appealing to me right now...but i can't abandon my cat. He's not exactly young anymore and to just miss a huge chunk of his life is totally unbearable for me.

I'm trying my best to be the good daughter but when everyone just keeps calling my name...i have a fucking limit.

All talk no action? = makes me an angry observer

2011-06-25T20:32:00.002+03:00

Revelations are pretty darn cool i say.

I am thankful that my family has given me a stable environment to grow and learn and improve myself and pursue my interests without worrying about what impact my actions may have.

Secrets are revealed yet again by my Dear Mother, I didn't know that sometimes they had no money to pay for my music classes when we were younger. Thinking back i was just going in and having fun not really putting all my effort in - Guilty much.

All my life I've been taught to be afraid of consequences. eg. Violin - all the adults i've met even music teachers has said that it's the world's most difficult instrument to master and it costs like a bomb, be really sure and 110% committed if you want to learn. etc etc blah blah blah

So now i'm older, I said...what the hell I don't want to be a performer on the big stage and so what if i lose interests halfway and all that money spent is wasted. These are consequences - TRUE But are they that big of a deal for me to give up trying to explore it?

Answer: NO

No one should be held back by stupid consequences like this. There is no good or bad decisions, just good or bad consequences. It all boils down to how you react to that consequence.

And Yes - There are certain things whereby the consequences are so shit you end up hurting people and causing irreversible damage. - that sucks

I guess that's part of Life and growing up.

2011-06-22T17:10:00.002+03:00

I secured my new job while someone died behind me(guy fell from 3rd floor, Dead). I have not seen any contract details nor do i have any idea where will my office be located, I vaguely understand what my job scope is and apparently they have already booked a ticket for me to go to HK this Nov. I'm not exactly thrilled, because i kinda have no idea what i'm getting myself into. But hey..life is short no time to waste on worrying my life away.

Basically, I might need to ask permission to take time off in SEP, which i personally don't think it's very nice. But I am still going to ask, since i believe this is the last trip i might ever get to go with my folks.

I have so far...never put off travelling because of work or studies. To me, travelling enables me to learn so much more.

Crazy thought of today:" What if Dad got a job in the UK or US? "

My Reaction:" Fuck yeah i'm going "
Motive:" Fucking hell get a big dog"

Not that it's not a possibility but China looks more plausible.

My Reaction:"Fuck no"
Reason: "They fucking eat anything"

Things hasn't been going well at the office, So i'm pulling all the big guns to ensure production gets to ship out stuff. After July i'm no longer there, I shall pray for Dad.

Tom Cruise has saved me once again, seriously...he's crazy hot like totally can stare at him whole day kinda hot and he saved me like countless times. =D

If your Husband is Tom Cruise kinda hot and you decide to let everything go after having kids. looking like a mop, not bothering to dress up. Can you blame him if he cheats?

I don't think i will blame him.

*My Promise to Future Husband* :" I will not let myself go
*My Promise to Future Children*: "I will try my best to be the cool and pretty Mummy*
*My Promise to Future Dogs* :"I will try my best to be disciplined and walk with you"
*My Promise to Future Cats*:"I promise to train the dogs not to disturb you and provide you with all the comforts i can give"

2011-06-12T16:59:00.002+03:00

It's scary how just one secret can weigh so heavy, i'm feeling the strain, the pressure of letting it out. I just can't do well with secrets, especially one so delicate.

I'm feeling damn isolated from everything, i feel so alienated. I feel that no one in this whole wide world will ever share my beliefs and see the way i see everything.

So tempted to go away somewhere and hide. There's no one i can connect to anymore. It's a crazy world

2011-06-02T19:03:00.002+03:00

Sometimes it's really nice to sit amongst the older people and just listen and join in. I felt like an equal, which feels really good considering i'm the youngest in the company.

I learnt that going into something with a shitty mind frame, you get shitty results. Last week i was hitting balls at the driving range like a mad woman trying to get it right, but today i did it so smoothly and easy. I realize i was in a good frame of mind, i wanted to do it, i was focused, i was happy and it was darn easy.

These few days i've been exercising, albeit for all the wrong reasons. Don't laugh...i did it so my skin will look better when my blood circulation gets going, i also hope that my hair will grow faster and healthier so i can have my long curls back. I did it so i can be more agile. it never crossed my mind that i'll lose weight if i exercise, cuz i can't do hardcore exercises. chest hurts and i feel that my heart is going to jump out of my ribcage. And it's useless if you can't do intensive exercise to burn off the fats.

Confidence is everything, if you believe you can do it. Sometimes i feel that dad is damn proud of me, but he knows my ego is like super duper big so he keeps quiet. He also thinks that i'm a funny girl, cuz i entertain his friends and he secretly smiles when i can totally see it HAH!

Downside. I realize i have a problem. When i am around temptation of any kind, i get annoyed and frustrated when i can't match up. Be it being around talented people, or people who are doing things that i've been learning and trying to do or just plain ol stuff.

Sometimes i analyze my emotions to see exactly what is my problem, it's silly because it's like i'm asking myself a question but i'm denying the root cause but i know exactly what is making me unhappy or uneasy. and i simply don't want to face it, i realize i want to push the "blame" on other people, I want to vent it out on other people instead of admitting to myself that it's hardly rational behavior.

I'm actually tiring myself out, asking questions that i can't answer or anybody can answer. I need to recharge, take a step back from all the craziness and try to find myself and live my life.

2011-05-31T18:52:00.002+03:00

Sometimes my sweet cousin can be so harsh but enlightening. Thanks Gilbert for saying outloud the doubts and mindset i've been thinking for so long.

I guess, i just have to find someone who doesn't see me as the second choice.

2011-05-27T14:50:00.002+03:00

The Saying goes:" You can't lose what you don't have in the first place" This seem to apply to me a lot these days.

Some things aren't meant to be and the more i try to fight for it, the more it loses it's value.

It hurts when what you value has no meaning or value in another person's eyes.

Why isn't this working out? Haven i tried?

It's sad, but I'll get over it as usual. What the point now, nothing really matters anymore.

I've got an interview tomorrow, don't wish me luck because I'm not keen on the job. I just know how to dress to get the job, it's actually bloody easy if you dress nicely and speak well. Loads of BS will do, but I'm actually pretty darn clever. I know right, it's in my blood to boast about my abilities.

Today in a meeting, someone started to explain how engine heaters works and all and everyone else just looks at me like I'm pretending to understand what the hell the speaker is talking about. Actually I do bloody understand everything, the concept, the technical stuff, environment effects, cost savings in the long run and the new technology of stable circulation heating. I just put on a bimbo face and play along, so insecure lazy fucks won't be threatened by me taking over the boardroom or something. I should just turn up and serve coffee and donuts.

I realize adults still think the younger generations are dumb. This makes me fear kids, because i know it's not so easy to fool them. People always assume, oh i'm sure you have no idea what i'm talking about, oh i'm sure you are not interested in these, oh i'm sure you prefer doing what teenagers are doing now. Fuck those I'M SUREs

People are soo sure i have no fucking idea about anything. They are only interested in what they see on the outside, same for men, same for women. Fuck shallowness

it's a ugly world where people focuses only on the beautiful stuff.

2011-05-18T18:21:00.002+03:00

Honestly speaking, i didn't really enjoy HK trip. Maybe i was too tired and in a shitty frame of mind. if that's even possible, then yeah. I seem to be having revelations everytime i travel, This time it's bad. I just looked back and realize i made like this huge stupid mistake, how fucking dumb can i get.

So fuck it, i'm trying to make my life more interesting and meaningful. I hate being invisible, i'm hardly a sensitive person, i'm pretty laid back. so it really goes to show, there's always a higher level for everything.

Time to make plans and head out for a change.

2011-05-11T17:38:00.003+03:00

Sometimes you put in effort and hard work in wrong areas of your life. And by the time you realize it, it can be quite sad and frustrating.

I don't want you to be another mistake in my life where by one day i'll chuck you into my "mistakes box" and throw it in the fire. God knows how many people i've burn

I felt disappointment, not anger. So thanks for pushing the scale to the other end that i don't give a fudge about.

Kudos to you for adding a little bit more of poison to my mind.

Maybe my judgment is really SHIT. Damn it. I need help

2011-05-04T15:09:00.002+03:00

I can't wait for my Bling Bling to arrive!!!!!!! Well it's my birthday present to me! Mum wanted to pay for it but i paid half, i'm a big girl now i can buy my own rock =D

Well it looks damn good with my French Manicure, what to do. I'm a sucker for pretty things.

I can't wait for Hong Kong with Baobei, Sista and the gang of funny dudes! It's like one Major Sleepover that screams FUN FUN FUN!!!

I've met some old friends whom i knew from work over the weekend, i miss the connection, the whole day bitching about stuff, screwing things up, getting mad together, sharing laughter together. It was a fun fun time.

I realize sometimes just liking someone isn't enough to keep things smooth and connected, Much less lovers, just normal friends. You guys have loads of fun together, talk alot but somehow between both of you, you know something is different and it's just impossible to step into each others' world.

It's like choosing which section belongs to you in a huge bookstore. You will find me at the Business, literature, music, languages section but i can't never stay long in the Comic section. I may pop by and say hi, but it will never be my section. I will walk by the design and arts section, but it will never be my world.

True, you can try to read books from the other sections, but doesn't mean you'll like it, it won't be part of you, true you can try to understand but somehow it's just quite a different feeling. The elation of finding someone doing the same thing that you love, it's really quite precious, especially if you are into more quaint or kinky stuff like...stamp collecting or sex toys collecting.

I have always seen music scores a little differently, every piece of music is a story line and it doesn't always have to go by the rules. It's how you read it, it's how you interpret it. Like who the fuck is going to sit down with me and listen to these type of deep shit. I blame my old soul, sooner or later i'm going to start collecting vintage pins or statues or gargoyles.

It's weird knowing me, i think I'm weird. I party hard when there's a party, I read like the world will end tomorrow, i like dolling up and having pretty nails and wearing heels, i play golf with my cutesy hairband, pins and french nails, I love asking mothers, aunties how do they cook certain dishes. I love food, I cook, I love finding out which hardware parts drives what functions, I like talking to strangers, I like scrap-booking, I love stickers with a vengeance, i love fluffy key-chains and Polaroids, I love Kinokuniya, I kinda collect stamps, I love grocery shopping, I love travelling just to see mountains and rivers. I like to talk to dogs and cats. OMFG i'm mental!

2011-05-02T05:19:00.000+03:00

AHHHHH!!! I can't wait for HK!!!!!!!! OMFGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

2011-04-27T16:57:00.002+03:00

I have 3 more months before my work contract ends, then what?

I have just realized, i'm not really an adult yet. I don't think i can make it on my own out there. All the serious jobs i hold doesn't go pass 1 year, but working with dad i can go on like it's nothing because either way i know i'm kinda protected and he'll be there to guide me. How the hell am i independent....I need to learn to make my own decision and face the consequences.

This is damn pathetic! URGH. SNAP OUT OF IT

2011-04-22T18:19:00.003+03:00

It's a bittersweet year. I have become more serious and responsible and cynical and definitely cut off from the world.

I realize earning more money, having more to spend and buying pretty things have lost its luster. I regret not doing things for the people who had potential to become my life long friends. I regret breaking that fragile connection to people i liked. If only i had pass on that one message that i wanted to pass on. Maybe i could have bought a new joy to 2 good people whose happiness i actually cared about.

I have always been a coward in love and i'm sorry if i hurt any of you guys. I have decided it's time to change, I'll give it a shot, i'll work out the difference and i will not turn the other way. Maybe i'm ready maybe i'm still ain't. But one thing for sure, i'm gonna give it a shot. i'm done going on dates with people who have a departure ticket out of sg in a few weeks. Sad huh. i know but they are usually awesome kissers...i'm a sucker for that. Sigh...

It's funny how someone can affect you so much even though they are hardly in your life.

I was talking to an old colleague yesterday, then i realize how much i enjoyed our banter and our jokes. It's time to re connect, this time around i'll make sure i keep my promise.

My Dear Cousin wrote this poem in memory of Dylan. Words are amazing and you are a genius with words. I can never write something so beautiful but i can share it.

In memory of Dylan.
Dearly beloved,

Our friends, families and lovers,

A time upon this land we stood,

We cheered, we laughed, we cried.

A time upon this world we learnt,

We shared a roll of blazed leaf.

A time upon our lives, we met.

Now came a time upon we lasted,

We’ve laughed, we’ve hugged, we’ve cried.

We are gathered here today,

To bid upon a tearful farewell

To a friend, a brother, a family,

In memory of Dylan.

Though short the journey has been,

We had a blissful chance to meet.

Unwilling and sudden were you taken from us,

What has been wronged will come to light.

We leave this behind a memory we edge.

Thus we commit you upon the element,

Bonded us it has through a simple match.

A fiery blaze of element Thus we commit you.

Earth to earth,

Ashes to ashes,

Dust to dust.

Here we bid a tearful farewell,

As you begin yet another path

Through which we yet cannot take

Words of Jordan at 2:28 AM

How do you justify a precious loss with the death of a cruel scum.

I have stopped saying life sucks. My life do not suck. I do not have the right to complain about my life. I have an awesome life, I have an awesome family and i'm sibei proud to say i have an even awesome-ner extended family and family friends.

Although i'm still missing my Puppy and prince charming. I'll work on it.

Today the Cousins met up. The few epic ones.

Let's just say, the SOH bloodline is fucking awesome. We are just plain fuckin awesome and we are not afraid to say it.

My dear cousins, today was an awesome and fun filled day. It made me realize how little we meet up and how precious all of you are to me. I am proud that as we sit around for dinner, we have an awesome family and best parents ever. I just sat there and looked at our parents. It amazed me how much they are willing to do for us and how much i took that for granted. Not all children in this world are loved and protected like us. We are fortunate my loves. so nope. My life do not suck at all

2011-04-18T17:50:00.002+03:00

I think my heart broke a little today.

How sad, do i carry on celebrating oncoming good days these 2 weeks?

It's a distracting day at the office, I finished half of my responsibilities and some of my colleague's one.

I was looking forward to golfing for abit with Dad today, that thought just vanished into thin air.

I told Charmaine today. She cannot die before me. Apparently Hagen said the same thing to her, Poor thing Kena bully by the 2 person whom she loves the most. But so <3 from me to you.

Reality has yet to hit me yet.

2011-04-17T19:54:00.002+03:00

I always have faith in Singapore. Safety wise, it's hard to imagine being rob, hit, killed or murdered. But to have that news hit you in the face, my faith is seriously being shaken.

Who is he to take his life. Poor sweet Dylan.

I can't sleep now, i keep thinking and thinking. How unfair. how unfair.

I was looking forward to start a good week. Maybe not so much now.

2011-03-16T18:38:00.002+03:00

I'm losing patience. What a fucked up social norm is this, going along with everything and agreeing just so you won't offend other people. What's up with you fucked ups that gets off on taking advantages of people.

I hate it when i say no and you keep pushing. What's the point of this word "no"

Sad world it is. Incentives and Ulterior Motives goes hand in hand else there won't be any hand holding.

Sometimes i wonder what is the ultimate goal that you are trying to achieve?

I'm sinking back to this stupid sad soppy phrase again. I HATE this feeling.

I don't need alcohol to get me high and excited. I need adventure, too bad i'm quite sick of clubbing. Time to hit some new place. Butter is just filled with little kids. I should be a guy, i'll be out all the time sarging =

SARGE—1. verb: to pick up women, or to go out to try and meet women. 2.
noun: a woman who has been picked up. Origin: Aardvark

It's so damn hot to take control, The Game - Neil Strauss is a really damn interesting read.

They keep telling me, you reap what you sow, Karma will come right around back at you.

So Is Mother Nature taking revenge? for all the lost whales and dolphins eaten by the japanese? Who can really say for sure, if this is the case, then we are all fucking sinners and one day she is gonna drown us all.

I realized Ignorant people are tools used by the so called "Smart scheming people"
And the Pros of the Game are called the "Manipulators" and They control the so called "smart Scheming people"

How Do you become one of the Manipulators? You need knowledge and the ability to look at who the hell is playing the chess game. You wanna play politics? Might as well take it to the highest level possible. Yours is just fuckin child's play and they stink up the place and everyone sees you holding the shit in your hands. IF everyone knows? how the hell are you gonnna rub it in their faces. Reputation - fail.

2011-03-05T19:15:00.002+03:00

You can have everything yet be unhappy

A quick thought went through my mind," damn i want an ipad so i can surf the web on the comfort of my bed". How fucking ridiculous is that thought??? IT was like involuntary. I didn't even want to think that thought, but somehow it pop out. For a second i was actually ashamed. My Computer is new, the monitor is huge, keyboards and mouse are wireless, and somehow my body can trick my mind into thinking...i'm just not comfortable enough. Fucking Brilliant

Woke up at 5am to send dad to the airport, went back home. I slept till 1pm, got SO ANGRY at mum for not waking me up. Because we are supposed to be in town and meet up with charmaine as well. I FLIP. I WENT BALLISTIC MENTAL ANGRY. I started hitting my Chair. I realized, I can not hide my anger. I Do not like to leave the house after 2pm. IT's like a habit, something i have to do. I don't know. wtf 2pm is a weird timing.

Question: Why did i went crazy? It's not mum's fault to let me sleep in because i was tired. But Why did i got so angry?

i'm starting to scare myself, then went on spend nearly 200 bucks on a wallet that i clearly do not need. I did not feel better, it did not make me very happy. Shoulden have done that. Clearly the two ladies i'm with didn't rein me in at all.

Mum told me to stop buying hairbands and books. Weird request i told her, it's like the few hobbies i have. OR would she rather i set up a mini safari in the living room.

I think it's getting to me...not knowing what i want to do in life.

2011-02-02T16:14:00.002+03:00

Happy Rabbit Year! This year is going to be Dad's Year and i pray that it will be a super successful year for him!

I have been hinting to dad for quite some time not to push me to attend Uni. I'm determine to do this at my own pace, hate it when people look at you like you are some sort of failure who is not moving forward in life just because you are putting off studies for a while.

I still believe that anyone who joins Uni in a hurry without pursuing something that they love are those grooming and investing in themselves to be the perfect employees. I so don't want to be that and i do pray i don't cave in to that social norm.

Different people have different goals in life and I have learn not to judge too fast, i do wish i don't judge but somehow it's like a reflex action to judge. *shrugs*

I can say i'm fairly happy working together with Daddy because he's damn straight when he thinks i have done something out of line. I learn alot at work, really see the ugly side of working in society and the good. I have always use my blog to vent out shit, say childish stuff, scold and curse people. I'm kinda glad i don't blog angry or blog that much after starting work, which is good i guess.

A New year for me, I have learn all the "first positions" in violin.I will continue to see where that will take me. I'm still learning Korean diligently, hopefully by the time my work contract ends, i will have the courage to venture to another country by myself, independently. Language wise, mentally wise.

I am still figuring out what i want to do, despite alot of people asking me exactly what i want to do, i still don't have a clue but i am giving myself the luxury of finding that out so i'm saving like crazy now, it should buy me some time..sorta i hope.

So the latest trend *albeit alittle late* is POLAROID!!! it's the cutest thing everrrr and thank god my cousins are into it too!!! 80 films on hand, shall go crazy this CNY and I will take picture with ALLLL the adults. >.
all the parents say it's too expensive to play with but hey we don't waste money on binge drinking and drugs. A HAH! we make memories. I just cannot resist the stickers

2011-01-13T18:31:00.002+03:00

Happy New Year Har Har Har =.=

Inflation, depression, terrorists, nuclear weapon, depression, Flood, Snow!

I don't think i remember much good news this new year.

OMFG I need a life.

2010-12-22T18:24:00.002+03:00

Lessons I need to learn

1. How to handle delusional People
2. How to handle Angry People
3. How to handle Adults with Bad Manners
4. How to handle email wars
5. Where to find your Guardian Angel
6. How to keep a knife hidden in your sleeve
7. How to prevent leaving an obvious blood trail
8. How to Fork lift a person literally
9. How to hook *insert evil person* onto crane and swing them around till their brains liquefy
10.How to appear perfectly unperturbed by annoying attempts by* insert evil person* trying to bring you down.

11. Drive a big SUV (never know when it will be useful)
12. How to handle adults who think they are right.
13. How to make yourself richer by not doing shit
14. How to appear real busy when you have nothing to do
15. How to remind yourself not to be so fuckin nice.

Somepeople aren't worth helping, because they slap the person trying to help them. since they don't appreciate any help, i won't be helping them. Because i'm a princess with a good heart who don't help evil people.

Since i'm a princess and you are just an evil smelly toad, why don't you hop the fuck away.

Because you are such an ugly toad, everyone else just became prince and princesses when u are around. Eat that bloody goo you smelly toad, i hate you. but i shall forget you soon enough. Real Soon.

2010-12-19T17:53:00.002+03:00

Merry Xmas

2010 - Xmas sale is damn shitty and i'm feeling emo super duper seh.

I'm getting rounder because i'm not happy, when i'm not happy i eat unhealthy food, and i broke my no sugar diet. suck

Sick for a whole bloody week with crazy headaches, spoils my mood for eating clubbing slacking.

I should start getting into the clubbing mode, it's not really a phrase that i go through,now i'm mainly there to get high and exercise. See...kao.mentality totally like an auntie already. free mah.

i'm on like a whole bag of different drugs, lord know what will happen if i drink alcohol. i'm not ready to see god or Buddha yet.

Anyways, still dun know why i'm feeling down.

Work is really just work and it's like alcohol sometimes, it's stings and sometimes it makes you vomit. in worse cases it can kill.

I'm learning Violin now, so all my previous perception of a "magical instrument" has fallen apart. IT'S A Nice instrument, that's all. but the cool thing is, you can never reach a limit with violin, you can always be better. i guess it's the same for every other instrument. I can play Vivaldi - Spring now. Teacher don't know yet, shan let him know. I don't think he's ever been proud of me, cuz i'm a lazy student, who insist on playing by ear and failing my grade 8 test, refusing to learn scales, can't memorize impt shit for exams. But then again, why impose so many rules on music, Music is Music, just because you follow rules and guidelines doesn't make you a good player, it just makes you like every other player, that's just my opinion anyway.

I shall welcome Monday with open arms and be real nice.

2010-12-14T18:29:00.004+03:00

This has been the worse week ever. But I'm finally feeling better thanks to mum and dad. Thanks to mum's friends too, sorry if I called yr friends stupid when I was mad, they bought blessed water for me when they heard I was sick for quite a while now. I dun believe these stuff but I'll finish the blessed water with yr good blessings as well. So thanks mum n frends. I'm not an easy patient to take care of when I'm sick I cry and slam things when I'm in pain, I dun let mum vacuum near me cuz the noise is annoying me, I ask for water I ask for meds I whine when nobody checks in on me.

So yeah I'm the big baby. Dad checked in on me one night, scared me awake crying. I prolly scared them worse.

I will pay the neurologist a visit next year. Not that I'm negative or what, but everything happens for a reason. Hopefully I'll get some answers and a clean bill of Health too.

Trying to be better everyday!

2010-11-03T17:16:00.003+03:00

Time Flew by after i came back from Korea.

Korea was really awesome for me. I mean..that place was meant for me. muhahahas to have that thick wad of cash in your wallet and gazillion of cute shit and cheap skin care stuff. OMFG...

First time in my life, i walked out of faceshop with a luggage. I was the only one with the luggage...unbelievable. but i was happy. super duper happy.

I was overcome by cuteness around me so i cave in and bought my awesome prettiest Polaroid camera. Fuji-instax White Limited Edition. and loads of films and loads of cute shit from ARTBOX. Still not enough. cuz now i'm spreeing on G Market for Polaroid accessories.

I bully my cousin abit, i can't help it boy. hehehs but i lubs you loads that's why i bully you, else i won't talk to you right? hehes.

Jordan you said something to me: "your mum really dotes on you alot" yup that hit me man. in the gut and face. I was like being a total bitch on some days but in actual fact my mum gave in alot to me. so i'm reminding myself everyday to remember to be nice to her etc etc. don't take shit for granted. she came to korea with me because she didn't want me to go alone. that's sweet but she enjoyed the trip thank god. hehes.

It feels really good to have a job and have money to spend, but down side is..it's making me reluctant to go back to school. Cuz i know i'll be poor and broke and i need to scrimp and save and i'll be pretty miserable and i'll be sad and i can't travel as much.

Okay fine. I am applying to SMU although i know they will reject me, that's for sure. I know my GPA is confirm fail through crash into the wall type. but kinda just to prove how unfair the singapore system is.

I mean you gotta be good pretty much all your life to get a place in their universities. I mean people grow up at different stages. I'm smarter than i was ten years back, why are you still judging people by past results. Seriously.

I think i'm awesome, I think i strive to be more awesome everyday. I think part of me wants daddy to be proud of me. But hey i'm good i'm good. don't say i'm boasting because i got what it takes to say this shit.

7 lessons of golf - Driver hit past 150 yards. 7 Iron hits 90 yards.

IT's not awesome lengths but hey it's something you know. just 7 lessons. not even really lessons. it's just like one sentence instruction from dad and you just go!. but daddy is proud of me when i hit the driver with the awesome sound. he's just shy to say it. hahahahahas

Violin - First lesson Coming Monday. but hey i can play the G Major Scale already on my own.

Piano- Self learning - trying to master the merry go round of life - jap anime song.

Korean - Self Learning, I can hold a decent simple conversation with the people i met in korea. that's something for me.

I'm taking up scuba diving next, talk about it during lunch, dad seems okay, just need me to find khakis to dive together. OMFG sharks. BARRACUDA. if they take my fingers...i can just throw away all my thoughts of violin, piano, golf. then again...this can wait.

So finding more shit to learn. Read more. no time to read now. busy shopping online. doing scrapbooking. ahhhh i miss my cat already.

shall look for lippie naooo.

2010-10-26T19:07:00.001+03:00

Sometimes it takes someone else to point out how blessed and loved you are.

Thank you.

2010-10-11T15:38:00.002+03:00

Upcoming trip in 6 days. luggage not sighted. Still in the storeroom. So i might overpack...or not. hopefully i'll travel lighter, since it's always other people who has to lug my luggage up and down, i must be considerate.

I'll get to try out speaking korean to actual koreans instead of blabbing to people around me and annoy them to no end.

First phrase to learn - How much is it, can i get a discount. HAHA. what else really

I always pray for some form of enlightenment when i travel, like out of the blue a vision will pop inside my head and i will know for sure exactly what is my passion and my goals. Sometimes i'll try to see it, but always end up freezing with a sad song on my ipod.

Traveling through China humbles me, makes me appreciate what i have, the people around me. People always say things they don't really know, eh why visit such a country, omg. boring place u also wanna go?? no. i really like China. The views, the experience, the simplicity...the peacefulness. Cruising down the 3 gorges in the middle of the night, without a sound and the mountains towering over you. IF you can't appreciate that..I really have nothing to say.

This trip to Korea, i'm guessing it will be all the hustle and bustle. Noisy, fun, hectic. let's see.

Work is same as usual, i'm just doing alot of "sidelines" hahahas learning korean, reading about marketing/branding.learning how to write with my left hand. learning golf ( I sprain my wrist). Trying to get in shape ( still trying). overdosing on Vitamins. improving my French gel extension manicure, hoping to complete it just in under one hour. this and that, and loads of google-ing.

I'm working hard but university still is scary to me. I will go but i'm still scared. but i am going. I have to . IT's a bloody Challenge for me!

Monday is over. so i feel pretty darn good.

2010-10-08T17:49:00.002+03:00

It's going to be a month since i extended my work contract, so far no new duties has been passed to me yet and i'm getting too efficient that i finish my job usually by Tuesday if i do it slowly.

So a few things i'm learning

1. Writing with my left hand (cuz i heard the brain is lopsided, gotta even it out)
2. Playing Golf - Hopefully i can get my handicap by Q2 next year
3. Learning a new Language - Korean Annyeong haseyo~
4. Changing my Diet - Doing good so far
5. Changing my Routine - Exercising - Doing good so far

Trips coming up

1. Korea - OCT
2. Jiu Zai Gou - MAR

Oh yeah, since jie got this awesome camera..so clear so easy to use and jordan bringing his Polaroid.

i <3 lipton soo muchie.

I need to revamp my Room!!!!!! but no more dark mahogany wood. It's getting dark in here. Need a computer table and chair.

I need 2 more pillows.

I need a bookcase.... argh.

Then again...i need more space.

So nothing is up. nothing exciting. taking it easy, trying to influence dad to take it easy. Pestering dad to bring me go golfing. I would go to the driving range myself but then again i'll need a car else i'll look stupid trying to lug the golf bag around.

Sunday shall follow dad to his club and hang at the driving range while i possibly bore my mum and sis to death. I shall go swimming after that, hang at the clubhouse drink a mocktail. ahhhh this is life.

Aiming to clear 300 balls, we shall see if my arms will fall off.

2010-09-19T18:50:00.003+03:00

Just came back from another shopping spree with Char. So I kinda bought 3 pairs of shoes....aside from the 2 pairs from the previous week.

So this thing with shoes...i can't help it...

Bags...i'm slowing down, cuz i am really running out of space.

Clothes...i'm hardly buying any new ones cuz i'm FAT and whenever i wear something i get depressed and i don't buy it cuz i will look FAT in it. Anyways, time for me to follow dad's new diet. I'm trying to steer off junk food, move more.

i'm going to drop 3 kg by 3 kg. Don't be too ambitious.... thank god my fave food is fish soup. lol

So i'm feeling kinda lost, weeks ago i still had a goal that i'm sure i'll walk the path towards it, but nowww..i'm kindaaa..ehhhh? then my state of mine went abit haywire and i start spending money, telling myself it's okay to spend on this and that cuz it's worth it blah blah blah blah

Trying to shut out other people's problems, cuz it's affecting me. No good. I need to find my groove back. So sick of you mofos staring at me. i hate taking the train.

Saw Julien just now, hot piece of ass....thank god i'm not wild huh.. else i would have pretty much took up a DJ's invite to his bachelor pad, his private parties, dates with other eye candies. but they are too freak intimidating. So scary. I realize i would totally get eaten alive, spit out and then chew on again then probably throw out like a rag doll. plus they are all hotter than me, totally not in their league..well.. at least i'm not a buay hiao bai.

Maybe one day if i suffer a mental breakdown i might start going wild and bite babies' faces off.

I don't sound too well already....

2010-09-18T18:44:00.003+03:00

It's been quite a while since i help tian out at an event. I realize i am still not zai at all, too much of a stoner which makes it really clear i can't handle doing an events job but it's nice to not do the same old shit over and over again but tiring.

The blaring music and the kids gave me a pounding headache which did not subside until i step into the shower. Amazing huh. I'm THAT allergic to them. I really hope my future kids won't hate me.

Sometimes i see people who have so called "friends" who are with them because they need to find someone they believed who is as fucked up as them so they won't feel so lonely. I think i have seen enough to believe they exist. Delusional Friends.

I'm done trying to please other people, so basically if i don't want to hang with you, is because i don't want to hang with you. So simple.

I'm still in my comfort zone, but i'm slowly but surely expanding my zone. Learn new stuff, hopefully meet new people, try new things.

TRAVEL PLANS

OCT- Korea ( so far 3 people has said this " North or South? " HAHAHAHA ) Wow is my name Jayce SALT? hahahahahas lame ass shit

NOV - TAIPEI ( IF I HAVE THE MOOLA )

MARCH - JIU ZAI GOU

I should visit bali, puhket or krabi sometime soon - 2 things stopping me is the Sun..and my fats. I totally won't do justice to my kawaii bikini. hiay and i'll look tan..... ARGHHHH

Oh yeah baby, rock this shit. I love budget flights

2010-08-29T17:37:00.002+03:00

This bunch of Ah bengs and Ah Lians were like walking in the middle of the fuckin road like that owned it. Seriously Ah bengs and Ah lians still exists? are they from the 70s. Maybe it's their parents. Anyway they refuse to part ways so i horn freak long and glare at one muthafucker. Seriously if you met someone with road rage you will probably be minced piece of shit now. If this ain't singapore i will make sure i bump into you hard enough to make you feel sorry. So freak sorry.

I'm just so sick of everything. Driving isn't helping, it's making my anger uncontrollable. Just on the way home there was one freak fat piece of bitch who was using her tummy to drive. She waiting for the red light to turn green but didn't move at all when it's green, so i'm guessing she's waiting for the traffic light to drop off or turn pink. I horn FREAKING CB LONG. Got to move when it was amber. WTFFSHIT

And i'm sick of clearing up shit and then getting shit for not doing it well enough or fast enough or doing it wrong. A Little help would be nice, i'm not the only kid. i am working a full time job as well and serving dad through the night. Getting nags from mum and arranging dinner plans etc etc etc etc etc etc while i'm chasing for my shit on the jobs Ain't helping.

Sick Sick SICK

STOP TRYING TO OPEN MY DOOR. Where is my prince charming, I need a second castle.

2010-08-23T19:16:00.001+03:00

It's so challenging to be my dad's daughter. >.< i'm so tired

Never ending tasks to do. Never ending shit to follow up. HIAY

2010-08-05T19:12:00.002+03:00

Productive Day. Got things done. Got Stuff Moving. Settle Problems.

So End of Work, went to driving range with dad. He said 2 things to me and i got it after trying for ten minutes. Omg...fingers, knuckles, skin, back is killing me. I need gloves. but it was so cool because my ball flew more than 50 yards and it's high!!!! well..65% of the balls i hit were flying. The feeling is awesome, but dad is even better. His range just flew over all the measurement charts. The other golfers were like staring at him and all then at me cuz my ball didn't fly all that high. LOL

I think i might like golf. =D but boobs get in the way. and u get blisters and yr back ache but it's cool to picture someone u don't like right on the ball and swing as fast as you can. MAKES u just wanna hurt the golfball damn badly. hahahahas

IT's FRiday!!! i'm gonna dress up for work cuz i'm sick of looking like a frumpy old maid.

2010-08-01T18:05:00.002+03:00

Felt like only an hour ago i was screaming TGIF. yes yes friday but now...i'm waiting for the doomy monday to come. Ah hell.

Did a couple of things today, mostly eating and watching shows. I know i'm such an undisciplined person....keep telling myself i'll go down for a run or walk but scared of the dark where some psychopath might jump on me and kill me..and during the day just won't cut it, it's basically throwing away those bottles of skincare products down the drain.

So mum got me on this new skincare regime by DR SECRET. yeah what secret....damn the 60 years old auntie looks better than me, skin glowing with no makeup on. So i'm trying to behave, not poke my skin and keep using it for a month. No swimming No Sunny activities or whatever that will irritate the skin. no biggie. i hate the sun. i don't exercise.

So back to the weekdays with tedious meetings where i try my skills at studying people with some advice from joe navarro, he's good but he's repetitive. So without dad even giving me a push, i'm stepping up my game during the meetings. Gonna stop letting pple take my credit and push the blame to me. I never wanted anything more from this job, never wanted to prove anything, just here to learn and do my job. If you wanna play i'll play but i have got nothing to lose, but you...on the other hand kinda have a lot to lose.

I do admit i like having power but i'm gonna be like my dad. I'll earn it not force it and i will use it responsibly and respect will just come naturally so will loyalty.

I never like people who sits high up and not be accountable, dad told me something last week when i told him to chill out and not be so uptight over something u can't control...he said..that bonus to him is nothing but to his workers..they made a huge difference to their lives. WE have a responsibility to them, they have families too and they aren't as lucky as we are.

Shame...i felt it because i didn't think about other people because that wasn't in the agenda i guess. it's not dad's job to worry about their bonuses...but he thought of it. He works humanly....instead of technically... So yeah...i have got alot to learn and so does dad. He can think like that at work, i wished he had knock it in us when we were younger. I would have be more appreciative of everything...not be so spoiled and well..cocky.

So yeah....tmr is a whole new day and i will be extra nice and i will work smarter and google more interesting and informative sites.

2010-07-22T08:31:00.002+03:00

I'm so tired....didn't even drink much. sucks. i feel damn old

hiay time please don't fly by i haven had a crazy time yet....afraid i never will.

my little baby waited until 4am for me to come back. >.< so paiseh.

Tmr meeting AGAIN. always meet and meet yet no improvements.

thanks for the flowerpot sis. so cute - the pot

now...what's for breakfast.

i need a goal...maybe i should start saving dolphins or something......this i will. but not now..i can't.

2010-07-17T19:46:00.002+03:00

It rains alot nowadays. I like it, It's depressing and i love it.

Revelation
n.

1.
1. The act of revealing or disclosing.
2. Something revealed, especially a dramatic disclosure of something not previously known or realized.
2. Theology. A manifestation of divine will or truth.

This is my Word of the week. I actually taught myself stuff, I analyze and i listen. I actually listen. Had alot of meetings this week, clock in 8 hours of meeting in 5 days.

Which doesn't make sense for a temp staff like me, but i'm cool with it totally awesomely loved it. Chris Morgan taught me to listen because i watch him listen and he takes down what people says and he asks them back. Such a simple action yet i'm amazed, it's different from minutes generated from meetings. It's accountability, making sure what you said in meetings have to be accounted for, you can't let it slideeeee.

I'm still amazed that dad still manages to teach me stuff almost everyday. He's just awesome, me dad is damn good.

Paul Arden - awesome-ness. I will no longer take the no conflict route because i don't want to offend people. I learn that if you don't take action against a problem, you don't earn the right to complain even a little bit of how bad it is and how your life sucks. So yeah that is what i learn, That is why sympathy for others doesn't come by easy for me.

Beggars? you got all your limbs intact. what is the worse that can happen if you make a change, take a risk.

So if your life sucks or you are bored, go do something to change it. It may not work but at least you tried. I'm not gonna say my social life sucks because i'm not doing a single thing to change it so i don't get to complain.

I'm bored, yes that's true but i won't complain because i'm not doing anything to make myself un-bored.

IT seems like my world is turning into gray areas...i don't feel the need to see things in black and white anymore...is it bad? maybe.....then again..maybe not.

2010-07-06T16:19:00.002+03:00

I don't know where to start, the bad days are terribly bad. The good days are pretty good.

I hate it when people brings out the worse in me. I am trying to be a better person not for anyone but for me so hopefully in the future when i move forward and glance back at the person i used to be i won't be ashamed.

I'm grateful that i have mentors and friends who watch my back and defend me whenever my abilities are being questioned. I'm a green horn i understand, i will listen hard and improve. But i will not be your scapegoat or your doormat because i am here to learn not to cover your ass.

Today, i have truly underestimate the ugliness of human nature. what ill and bad stuff people do to me i wish them back ill stuff and an ugly death. And this, i am ugly too.

I don't wish to be rotten inside. but i no longer think about sunshine rainbows and angelic babies. more like demon babies actually.

If i see dad smile, it seems like it isn't such a bad place and everything will be fine. so i will try and smile for him too. We play the you drive I drive game everyday, our car is auto and he said his leg hurts....left leg. and when i sat down in the driver seat he giggled. ahh me dad oh so funny.

I seem to have an affinity with telephones or telecommunications. Considering that my mobile has clock in less than ten minutes of outgoing calls on an average. Why does my job always involves so many calls. I message, because they aren't awkward silences you have to deal with.

I'm getting real nervous when everyone around me seems to be in universities and somehow or rather knows exactly what they want to be or do in the future. I can hardly envision myself ANYWHERE, i know not to jump into anything when i'm not sure of what do i want.

What do i want? I want 2 dogs 2 cats okay not relevant.

What do i want to be? How would i know that.....

I'm still such a freakin lost sheep. sheep are you lost too? sheep cousin. I'm looking for Mary.

2010-06-17T14:47:00.002+03:00

So freaking long since i blog.....Working zaps your energy away

May 28 I went to China Guilin. Don't ask me why China again, it's really beautiful and it's something different it's like where the gods are staying in. A place i envy.

It was super fun travelling with my lil cousin. She pampers me, help with my bags and all because i was being a xiao jie. hahahahas well i did broke a nail. Didn't have time to upload pictures or do anything else.

After short holiday, wham bam back to work.

What happen? MY LAPTOP CRASHED, partly my fault i got so angry with the wireless i murdered my mouse and wanted to fling the laptop to the floor and hear it shatter. but i realise i still want my hardisk.

SO PC SHOW HERE. GOT MY SAMSUNG LCD AND 1TB OF HDD

NOW FOR THE DANG PC.

This SAT WITH BERT AND CHAR

I'm Tired, Unhappy because i screwed up at work. Dad's not there. and my 3 meals for today suck like WTF is this shit.

ANGRY AR JAYCE SOH. i wanna break something now.

2010-05-06T18:56:00.002+03:00

My Birthday - Busy Day @ Work

Why does my Birthday always falls on a weekday. Just so happens i'm at my busiest ever today...

Time flew by, barely have time to drink water. Tmr i have to chair dad's meeting. Yes Wth. scary, his people are kinda scary so i have to be very zai.

I praying for the Q4 trip to china plant will work out for me, Although the possibility is very very small, i would still want to follow dad. I can write it in as part of a Management Training.Obviously the kinks will have to be worked out.

So it's no celebration today. Don't think i can stand still while people sing me corny birthday song, aii so shy la. old liao somemore.

I'm trying to bite off as much as i can during this working period, even if i can't chew i'll damn well swallow everything whole. Determined to learn some useful stuff and prove myself.

Today i received many many loves since early morning 6am. Thanks my Darlings
Even my auntie called me, awwww

The weather today is fine baby! Jayce soh is happy.

At this moment in time, i feel useful, i feel driven, i felt ambition. It's a good feeling. I might not like a BMW but hell yea i'm gonna make sure i can damn well afford one with ease. My Goal? learning how to make myself happy even if i'm working hard. It's easy, you just gotta try.

Everyone is very busy with their work, it's a good thing. Shows that everyone is working towards something, so am i >.<

Jayce Soh - 21 years old. Time is gonna fly by from now on. I'm gonna have fun

Didn't get my dog, but one day i'll have 2 dogs. cuz one is just lonely =D

White and Gold that's my thing.

Quote of the day: I'm one cool Lady~

Girls, Love yourself

2010-04-24T20:20:00.002+03:00

Happening Month.

New Addition to the Family~ Kieran baby boy arrived today. Awesome ~~~~ AARRON OMGGG OLD LIAO. BERT U R OFFICIALLY AN unemployed..UNCLE NONETHELESS! hahahas must faster earn more money so you can dote on your nephew!!

So I have 2 upcoming trip this year! hopefully i can turn it into 3 as promised.

Going off to Guilin on the May 22nd. boss can't really say no because she's not doing much of her work and dad's holding up half of her shit, i was really just informing her i'm leaving on a holiday. Eat that.

Louis has this new trip planned out, it's somewhere near the border of Russia, very super duper awesome views. Exclusive, since we are his supporters and dad likes him cuz he sees a very good character in him. our places have already been reserved. FUCKIN AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!! will pop by shanghai, see the border of north Korean, see a Russian influenced town, enjoy Russian cuisine, walk amongst an endless sea of red flowers, see the legendary cranes. and so much more. of cuz he knows Singaporeans, very good shopping guaranteed. well of cuz i'm saving at least one month of my paycheck for this. dope dope dope okay~~~~~~~~~ September i'm waiting for you~

I know my 21st is coming up, so stressed about who i wanna celebrate with, who should i call etc. End up...i'm doing it for the benefit of others, not myself. All i wanna do is celebrate with my lovely cousies, my friends; maybe just 3 of them. and my family and my extended family with a gathering at potong.

- I really want an i touch. Cuz i realise the apps are really useful i can use it to learn new language, play games, organise my songs better. hehs. so nothing else really just gimme love and itouch. =p my ipod classic refuse to die but i can retrench it. early retirement.

Today out with mum, was supposed to buy my gift. Flower shaped Diamond ring. Apparently it was the last piece on the bloody island, so i decided i shan have it. End up with a pounding headache, my brains nearly exploded with all the noise around me, end up popping panadols and i'm REVIVED! I decided i want to buy stuff, so walk walk, bought miniskirt from zara, vest from bysi, bag from fareast, bag charm from fareast. The bag cost quite a bit but it's great quality and it's so pretty, shall get one as char's birthday pressie. That's about it. Still awaiting 2 shipments of online shopping stuff to reach.

Today was a very good day, mum was happy, i was happy still happy cuz i'm looking at my bloody awesome bags and feeling the power of being employed! lols
Dad was happy cuz lipton was being cute so everyone was happy and we drank tea and watch discovery.

Dad still wants me to get something. mum says get someting memorable so i can pass down to my children. aiii i shall think about it, so expensive. mum says sis inherited her 21st birthday present but i got nothing. lols then she starts thinking...kor also don't have anything. she suggest a watch that will be valuable in the future. i wonder what man. babyg? g-shock? LOL and yep, my parents didn't left out lipton either, what should lipton have. what about a tiffany charm mum? too girly for our macho boy? how about a studded collar. or maybe a tux collar.

My parents ...>.<'>

Next week, dad's gonna start going to the driving range after work, so he's gonna teach me how to do the basic swing. Hopefully i can master it fast cuz those pink golf bags are my dreams in the future. lols

Aii me and dad can be so similar at times it's scary, like the same food, eats stuff the same way and we don't even realise it. oh wells, lunch time its easier then. he can't decide what to have, so i'll start thinking about food all morning.

yes i grew fatter, no not a good thing at all. yes i'm gonna lose some weight, no i don't think i can lose much. Yes i'm determined to drop 10 kg, no i have no idea how to achieve such a crazy goal that doesn't involve cutting and sucking out fats physically. Yes i still am gonna try, have to start eating healthy with dad. Hello whole meals, whole grains , salads and fruits. i'm gonna embark on this awesome journey of healthy eating but awesome taste. Goodbye Fast foods, but noooo i'm still going marche for crepes and bakerzin for cakes. well....less of cuz.

2010-04-07T17:45:00.001+03:00

Enemies and Allies are everywhere. Enemies have their usefulness but most of the time their utter uselessness. Allies have their usefulness and their weakness.

How Do I Make sure my butt don't catch fire. Talk Less, Listen More, Walk around more

2010-04-02T13:04:00.003+03:00

AIII BUTT ITCHY AR. now really must go for meetings twice a day....='(

So many things to follow up. DIE DIE DIE AR.

hiay let me see what i have to do on monday - Check up on Onan and schneider. 2 headache suppliers. 9am Meeting to answer for materials. sit with greg learn from him. OHB shortage list, check all incoming deliveries have been received by Store. AI that's enough to keep me busy for min 2 hours.

My Stack of Released POs. I must clear and chase. And new stacks of released POs. =/

ah ah ha ha ha ha. Don't care la. Time will fly by.

waiting for sis's baked rice. hmm ETA: 7pm?

It's the weekend and i'm terrified of going out. Can u imagine the crowd. i don't want =(

2010-03-30T15:18:00.004+03:00

Ahhh my Handsome Cat.
oh my gosh man. best satay and chak kueh tiao EVER
Another Dinner ~ Penang Buffet
My Weapons
My WarZone
AWEESOMENESSS Dinner, This is some dope stuff man.
Yes Daddy Did it AGAIN. Scratch his back with his pen >.<

2010-03-20T20:00:00.002+03:00

I started my first day of work on a Friday, very awesome day.

I started by preparing my hello kitty bento and my thermal flask for my green tea. i'm cute this way.

I Made Kimchi on Thursday. It was awesome, Tasted better on friday and it will taste even better after it has fermented well.

Oh I'm cute this way, so hip yet i'm so good in the kitchen.

Okay Main topic, i have a job as a material coordinator. Working right beside dad. erm not beside but directly infront of his office. i'm trying to learn the ropes as fast as possible, so by april when the big orders comes in i can sit in the meeting and help him.

Everyone is super nice just awesome. Hiay so glad i can finally understand dad's work a little and help him .

2010-03-13T19:07:00.002+03:00

Job Woes

Yes~ i am still very jobless and i am no longer enjoying it at all

Thanks everyone for asking me every few days and offering to help me. I'm really going crazy

I sent 2 emails for the jobs that i really want, so hopefully Monday i will get a call or maybe 2.

If i am working a job that i really hate i kinda turn into poison and i poison myself, the friends i made at work, the people who comes into contact with me. So i'm not gonna mass send resume and end up slapping myself

I feel bad for being broke and trying to meet charmaine less to save money and can't do much because of my economy.

I'm sorry for the things i buy, but i'm changing bit by bit. I didn't splurge at kinokuniya today, although i could have use up what was left of my ang pao money. But! I stop myself.

I didn't asked for more furniture although i could use a table and chair and my back is killing me.

I know i'm a very expensive daughter so i'm holding uni off first. =/ I will earn money and i will contribute.

I will stop finding faults and blaming others for my inconvenience and misery. I will try to love public transport

I feel that i don't have a right to celebrate my 21st. I don't really want to anyway, i will have to invite what few fake friends who might turn up. I'm not embarrassed to say i got a very small handful of friends. which i'm very grateful for and i'll always make an effort for them.

All i want is dinner with my dear cousies and friends and a party at potong pasir with my awesome relatives.

I'm very proud to call them my aunties and uncles, i think i've grown up a little by little. I start to see things from the adults' pespective and i was really really touched that my ah kim went out all the way to host 2 gatherings at different house so that my eldest uncle won't feel lonely.

you guys didn't know right? ah kim didn't host gathering 2 times in a row for no reason. Cuz da gu's closest friend pass away and he didn't stay at kaki bukit, he moved back to no.11 but he's always hiding downstairs.

That's family for you.

I have alot of ideas going through my head, plans and goals. Which i have decided to act upon, else i might no longer have the chance.

First off, I will start learning korean seriously and in the near future i will join an exchange program with a korean university.

no. 2 : I WILL plan a trip to australia backpack style, hopefully not alone cuz i'm scared of the boogie man.

no.3 : I WILL visit London and New York - bank loan maybe? lols

Tian, if you are reading this. know that i'm always here okay. me and jie jie are always here. call us if you wanna talk k. =) we lubs you loads

2010-03-07T17:40:00.003+03:00

SCDF Family Day @ Sentosa

Event was a success.....i think, but i saw many lost their temper because of the heat.

I lost mine too for a little bit. and i don't really like kids.

Mega Zip was the main attraction, everyone was basically q-ing up for that. And i see the crew zipping back and forth in their buggy lugging equipment and harness around, i saw their colour change from morning to mid afternoon. hahas. Blondie boy was normal colour 10am, 12pm slightly redder, 3pm, full blown Redness. LOLS everyone was either red or black.

I Kinda lost the mood for human contact or interaction. Basically i didn't talk to the organisers whom i knew until they spoke to me, i didn't talk when the cute boys from megazip came over and talk to me i bascially smile...hiay i think i totally messed up. =(

I was hoping to get a free ride home because i was being a baby and i was under the hot sun working for 10 hours and i'm tired and angry. So i end up showering at wavehouse and slowly walk for almost 20 mins to the beach station only to find a freakin super long q to even go up the escalator, So bascially i was stuck. So this made me even pissier, it's totally my fault and my business, but i was still pissed off. I hate sentosa.

I really hate sentosa, thus overall makes me hate singapore even more. will i get sued for saying there? again. SEE? limited freedom, no such thing as freedom of speech, freedom is a privilege not a right at all. Whatever man.

Now Lipton is sitting beside my laptop against my arm, i just love him so much. Will i ever be able to love another human that much? I don't think it's humanly possible. Seriously i think that my cat's life is more important than other human lives. If given a choice to save a child from a dangerous situation and i can only save my cat or the child. I'll say sorry to the child. or whomever the heck is that. and grab my kitty and run.

I find it really tiring to interact with people, i don't understand myself, why i am the way i am.

I guess i'm not a people person at all. nor do i want to do. I do prefer dogs. Money the dog was so excited to see me just now, he basically leap up into the air. AWWWWWW

I'm So tired now, and mum said that for someone who hasn't been working i don't have the right to say i'm tired after working for 2 days. So i shall shutup and listen to whatever stuff she wanna say. Always keep a neutral tone and face. Once i've some money in my bank, i'm quitting my job and heading off to korea as an "exchange student" or to aus as a backpacker.

Please give me a job, i don't want a shit job.

2010-03-04T19:54:00.002+03:00

I think i found the path i wanna walk, although i still have doubts, but i'm going to do it.

It's time i stop living the dreams of others and start looking for my own.

2010-03-01T22:31:00.002+03:00

The SUN is on FIRE~~~~~~

the weather is giving me rashes and i don't get rashes easily.

aiii

2010-02-25T03:17:00.003+03:00

It's been awhile since i club, so apparently i drank too fast and the bartender was pretty generous with the vodka. So i was pretty much a mess for like 1hr plus. Thank god i puke it all out and was feeling good enough to claim my stage.

Let me elaborate, They shrunk the podium, added 2 pole dancing platforms. Awesome or not.

Me and char got one pole dancing podium to ourselves.

Dom my dance partner is actually a cheating boyfriend. I felt bad for his girlfriend. and what stupid guy tells you he's attached in a club. So not cool. byebye ahole

This night ended on a sad note, one of our fave bartender has passed away 2 months ago from a Fatal Bike Accident after zouk out. Whether he was drunk or not, we'll never know. Mccoy may you rest in peace, your passing did not went unnoticed. The guys was pretty upset when we asked, so guess everyone did cared. still care.

A life is so fragile, so young, full of dreams. yet a simple but bad decision might just end it so tragically. Please people, don't drink and drive. Taxi fares are nothing because your life is priceless and a funeral costs even more actually. around 15k average.

I guess it's karma that i am awake at 7.46am

I should go down and find mummy, get breakfast.

2010-02-20T15:40:00.002+03:00

Sometimes you just makes me so tired and emotionally exhausted, if only you could really hear some of the things you say. I don't even have the energy to put up an argument.

Maybe i'm just too prone to melancholy these days, exactly what makes me happy now?

Not clubbing, not even starbucks >.<'

Basically i can write fairly decently with my left hand, i can't even figure out why the hell did i start on this "personal project" in the first place. Was i preparing for some unforeseen injuries that my right hand might sustain? and wtf like i'll write alot.

I should not have played mahjong till 5 am. now i felt like my saturday has been thoroughly wasted by myself. waking up at 1pm, felt like hell, hungry as hell, bored as hell and recieving msgs that i rather not read. seriously??

How busy can a person get? and how long does it take to drop a message, email or what not.

I hate being moody and emo-ey and annoying and angry and whiney.

I WANNA STOP

2010-02-11T15:05:00.002+03:00

It's time to switch back to my split personality mode, i really pray work is demanding but not over so that i can't cope. waking up damn early is mother bitch crazy.

Jayce...it's time to see the morning sun AGAIN

Note: I have not got the job yet~ just shortlisted for second interview

Note to self: smile all the bloody way

I really don't like to work for other people, less stressful to work for yourself.

2010-01-29T23:29:00.002+03:00

I realise my blogskin is too cheerful and kidish for me, or the content usually.

Everyone seems to be doing their thing, going somewhere in life. I'm freaking out in my tiny space wondering why am i not moving and will i get there.

It's 4.30am and i feel very vulnerable. Alone with my thoughts is the worse for me, my brain attacks me and part of my mind wants help the other part is very keen to carry on the torture

I wonder if i'll ever reach a breaking point where i just.. .. ... ... ...

This is happening more than usual, i wonder if i need help. one lifejacket floats by me, i cling on to it, it floats away and i sinks further than before. I can hardly relate to anybody now, i don't seek your understanding but please don't judge me. The judging hurts me more than you think and i don't like the double standards you apply on me but not when it comes to yourself.

Why can't you just be happpy for me, like how i'm always supportive even though i have my doubts about your choices.

I don't know why am i even keeping this blog, maybe i'm writing to you? A tiny part of me that craves human contact yet in real life i'm so sick of humans, i'm sick of the standards we live by, the rules, the petty entertainments, the shallowness, the meaningless of all things.

Everytime i work, i die alittle, bit by bit. Guilt because i'm this cheerful, funny girl who plays around and sings really loudly. People like that girl, but i don't. I find her annoying. I hate putting up a face, a voice, a attitude to go to work, like i give a flying shit if we don't meet the freakin sales. I don't bloody care, the world isn't gonna fall apart. Why sweat the small shit.

Office job, Jayce soh. Will you ever be truly happy. What a frickin joke. This whole world is a joke. Life is a joke. I'm not even laughing.

What is missing i ask myself, what is missing.

2010-01-29T17:03:00.002+03:00

LIFE is full of obstacles, rules and requirements.

Because of Rules, sometimes one isn't allowed to pursue what one truly wants.

Rules

Going back to school starting from the bottom just so i can study what i MIGHT love is too great of a sacrifice for me. I might not even like what i thought i like. Does this makes any sense?

I wonder if i might just break one fine day and decide to give up. Just give up everything

Will i ever get to hug my cheetah?

I rather be doing something for animals rather than working for humans. That's how i feel right now, but why is it so hard to move into that directions. I have to give so much before i can receive and i am not able to give so much, does that mean i might never get a shot?

2010-01-27T17:08:00.000+03:00

sad. very sad. damn sad. sibei sad.

2010-01-18T22:46:00.002+03:00

Can too much happiness and fortune on one side of your life affects the other side to be unbalanced?

Example: Rich but unhealthy, Many friends but no love, Great Family but no friends.

I wonder, just wonder if there's a possibility

Back From Prawning with sis, bryan, alex, shu, ian, kate
Ending Party : Sis, Bryan, Alex, Ian and me
* Highlight of the outing~ There's 3 new dogs! 2 puppies one adult. SO SO SO SO cute awesome

Supper at Amk KPT ( KO PI TIAM) sinful la~ omg.

hehs, got his message, hiay why i so happy. mental. i'm just gonna make myself miserable when it....hits....a wall or sinks into the huge ocean that separates us...

I Must Control.

hahas great advice from ju, she tells me to stop dating guys who are leaving singapore.

This is all Borders' fault. info 1 info 1 info 1. SEE LA. tiu ar. ROARSSSSS

KARMA LA. i better find new job, hopefully surrounded by females.

2010-01-16T14:09:00.002+03:00

Clubbing has lost its appeal to me. Last Night i saw the ugly side of people, it's such a shallow lifestyle, although i would love to make out with french boy ben, but i resisted. Because i will just feel damn shiatty afterwards.

It's such a sad sad scene. i think i'm done. at least for a while.

I worry that i will never find someone who will look beyond the surface and love me for who i am.

I love books, i love music, i love food, i love so many stuff. Did u ever ask what i like? u didn't, that's why we will never work.

I told mummy, i find life stale and meaningless. Do i seriously want to go into meds? to help the people whom i detest? Don't think i can make it also.

I want to move away from city life for a moment. i'm so bored in my room but then i thought of the places i can go, i might just drive to the seaside and do stupid shit. better not go out.

I know i'm wasting time, I know i'm wasting my youth, i know i know! but i'm So fucking LOST

how can i not even look forward to my bangkok trip! this sucks.

Maybe i should go away for a few weeks.

I hate feeling like this, what the hell am i doing!!!!!!!!!!!

all i wanna do is to take a vacation with you =D

=(

2010-01-14T17:34:00.002+03:00

We've all been down that road, making decisions because we think we can accept the consequences that comes with it. Somehow when the day comes to face your consequences, one usually goes into a state of denial. i didn't sign up for this, why do i have to deal with this.

I am still teetering on the edge of denial, soon i'll topple into the state of acceptance. Maybe then i'll feel better, lonely but i'll feel better. Once Thailand trip comes up and i get a full time job after that, i'll feel awesome

I'm not gonna turn into a facebook maniac, logging in every few minutes. I will be strong

If i had a choice to do it again, i would still say yes. I would even have more fun than holding back. what's the point of not giving your all when in the end i will still feel kinda shitty. Might as well have all the fun right.

Hopefully i can squeeze in somemore travel this year, i need to buck up and get a job. I know i've been bumming around. But i sent some emails last night. So hopefully i'll get some replies.

Now i feel like a chilli fries from carls junior! awesome nomz nomz.

Zouk Tmr, it's been months months monthsssss not very keen but let's get high~

2010-01-12T18:25:00.000+03:00

HUNGRY ANGRY

2010-01-11T16:21:00.002+03:00

Where Do i begin. December 2009, i was finishing up my last few days at borders.

Usual info 1, help this pretty lady get her lisa see book. So we talked she asked me for more gift ideas, sooo i brought her over to shelve A. White Tiger is a great book. There i was talking, this guy pop out and started talking about white tiger too. i started talking to him cuz i thought he was her friends. end up 3 strangers in a conversation.

Borders is a good place to meet people, set up dates and all. god knows i've met my fair share of ..... shan elaborate. Worse was one customer grab my hand when i gave him his money back, mumbled something as i look on in shock.

Okay so i started talking to this geeky guy, look so smart and all. so we talk and talk about avatar and all that why he's here for blah blah blah. hahas and ya. so one thing led to another. i gave him my number we exchange and all, but didn't really think much about it, cuz he's seriously not my type, well as a bookworm kinda friend, totally awesome.

So yeah, first coffee date wasn't really a date. just talking. he flew off somewhere came back. ten days left in sg. so he kinda became my *ten days bf* we fell into a routine so easily, hugs and hardcore make out session became so comfortable and natural. nothing more though, he's not the sleezy type.

Yes this is the part i would tell myself, it's just fun while it lasted right? that's what my mind thinks, so not easy to keep emotions and mind apart. so freaking annoying, me acting like abit of a zombie now that he's in aussie. sent him off last night =( i think that was one of the longest goodbyes ever.

NOTE TO SELF: STOP DATING EXCHANGE STUDENTS

2010-01-07T18:58:00.002+03:00

Why do i feel so many objections when i'm out on a date.

Concern is one thing, dictating me is another.

i'm not allowed to find happiness? is that what it is?

2010-01-03T15:09:00.002+03:00

I always have this problem of don't know where to start

I'm a good daughter, my parent's approval and trust means a lot. So sometimes it really hurts when they say stupid remarks. There isn't a need for that remark, and do you guys really think your girl is so dumb? When will they ever understand that i am a strong girl and i don't do stupid stuff. If they are so quick to judge like most parents, understandable. Then i will feel even more guilty for sugar coating stuff and saying half truths. That's is just shiat.

I can watch someone die then see anything happen to my lipton or any other animals, am i cruel? am i emotionally retarded?

Maybe that's why i'll always have this fantasy of destroying someone slowly and painfully if they ever hurt me or my loved ones.

Everywhere i walk doesn't seem to be the right place, i just keep going back to my safe zone. How annoying.

Don't sweat the small stuff people

You Don't know the power you have over me, part of that makes me shut down to people.

how brave you gotta be to hand that power over to someone else.

Maybe i'm a coward.

Guess my dream house gotta be at a beach, so when i'm feeling like this, i'll go and sit on the sand and maybe feel better, or i'll just get a sampan.

2010-01-01T20:16:00.005+03:00

New Year 2010 @ Sentosa Beach Party ~

Awesome, thanks to tian we girls got like super cool vip treatment, good to have friends on the inside afterall.

So it's a freaking mother bitch long Q!!! to the bloody entrance of sentosa zomg right, so after a phone call, a van magically appears hahas then magically we reach the other entrance, magically we sat on a buggy, magically we reach the bikini bar, magically we get a table, magically jugs of awesome snowballs and chicken wings appear.

hahas okay i think i'm still alittle high.

BIKINI BAR,

Yup i'm with Barbie~ =P

2009-12-28T21:54:00.002+03:00

Restless

Seeking Connections i can't seem to find

I'm Playing Hana's eyes and i giorni. It's Sad, but i can't feel the story

I'm weird in my kind of way, If i play a piece of music, it must have a story, i'll form a story and if i can't. It's not special to me anyhow i play it.

Tomorrow I shall play " All of Me" if i feel happy

I'm not too good yet, but i'm learning on my own

Training my left hand so i have more control, ah the dynamics of piano playing eludes me still. I was taught to use my upper body to slowly let the force run through my arms and down to my fingertips, never once using my wrists' strengths. how amazing some people are.

The wonder of music

Driving is becoming somewhat of a nightmare to me, i never appreciate being driven around until i am the driver. how freaking tedious, a freaking bitch nearly ram into me, a puny swift nearly scrap my side.

I Don't believe in driving cars that are too small, it's kinda dangerous really.. if i'm living overseas, i'll get a huge ass mother big suv. okay maybe not that big, but a jeep with safety bars.

I've finally watched AVATAR. The 3D specs is really uncomfortable. shucks

the movie is flipping HARMAZING. okay AMAZING AWESOME. 3D is really good.

Time for Shelock baby, oooo IRON MAN HOT STUFF

IT's 3am, i'm tired, but not sleeping soon. gonna kiss lipton till he bites me.

2009-12-26T21:18:00.002+03:00

Merry Christmas, Happy Boxing Day, Happy Birthday

I spent 1/2 of my Christmas in the car. Nothing naughty sadly, just sending my lubs lubs around. AFTER many many stops, arrived at bert's house. Cousin gang getting smaller, but we still very love. So After stuffing ourselves and stealing bert's movies. We Decided something so freaking random. Go Sentosa in the middle of the night.

After much planning. it's HAPPY birthday ron, let's go surfing. i just sat at the bar feeding mosies.

Tahboleh Tahan! 2am, need to run, Thank god roads quite empty. i can't remember how many lanes i used.

Unbelievable la, few hours later, i'm preparing for work, this is mental. I go to work to see you people okay. My fun buddies, my sluts and my slaves.

Boxing Day, alot of stupid people i have no idea why, but i'm glad i'm done. More time to club and chillax.

I'll miss my people, but i'll be back as a super regular customer.

My Cat super love. My Mum super love, My dad super love, My sis super sweet - she bakes too much. Thanks u kors and joyces for the awesome present. very loud very mua.

Thanks shad for the sk2 cream =p. it costs freaking $141 man. u rock okay, big time

I wonder what a new year holds for me. but i know for sure, i'll be having fun. Thailand, China, Taiwan, Melbourne. FUCK YEAH

Guess i'll be taking another year off before studying!! mUAHAHAHAHAHAS

2009-12-21T10:40:00.002+03:00

Sometimes i forget how easy it was to meet new people while working.

I know i sound like a total geek but when someone gets excited because of the book i mention or because we both read it before. it's pretty funny and awesome.

I don't think i'll ever understand my fascination for books, it's like i'm anxious to know what's inside, maybe a new world to explore? since it's cheaper than air tickets anyway. Not that i don't want to travel. both i think.

I'm gonna miss my job, but definitely not the fuckups. They know who they are...hopefully

Let's see what else do i love

1. Reading
2.Shopping
3.Music
4. Dancing
5. Cooking

What am i good at? I wonder what's my next move.

I will start my new chapter, the only thing that appeals to me if i'm gonna work in a stuffy office is.....office romance. hahas imagine the excitement. how nice.

We don't pray for good guys to come along, cuz we are a little SM. Likes to be tortured? hahas i think i like to torture people.

I NEED TO GO CLUBBING SOON. - please don't judge me, i judge people who clubs and i feel guilty

i just wanna dance

Here is my Remedy, oh oh oh, why are you watching me dance with the enemy i got a remedy oh oh oh. lols

My sluts just msg: JAYCE IS HOTT!
I replied: MY SLUTS ARE HOTTER!

gosh. i'm gonna miss them girls.

JAG GOH WHY NOT BACK YET????!!!!! sianz

the baddest thing around town! i'm da bitch. SEXY BITCH!!! WOOHOO

okok hottest geek around town. lols

okay i'm talking to myself now, mental

2009-12-18T19:29:00.002+03:00

I want a meaningful job

I don't want to face those shitface people who are plain petty and shallow

It's so easy for me to fall back into my safe little black hole, don't push it i might just walk away never to be seen or heard again

Part of the reason why i don't like kids could be that they seem so happy and oblivious all the time, the pain, the reality, the hardwork, they have no idea yet. I despise that. Wish they knew how tough life is.

Life shoulden be so hard.

I still have this bad habit of tiptoeing around people who matter too much to me, i give in afraid of conflict. It makes me feel small

Today My mum and dad came into my room and sat on my bed, squashing me watching youtube together with me. How nice.

Last night i complaint about my injured left foot. I dropped a really heavy hardcover book edge first on me foot, yup silent cry. it hurts like hell, all the way into the tendons. swollen alittle. I just want to be babied. so mummy rub my feet with some medication. and dad looks like he coulden give a hoot. hahahas but next morning daddy asked about my foot. so i play the big pity card. hahas i think he ignored me.

i think i want to stay mummy and daddy's little girl forever, i don't want to grow up. it's sad.

Today we went grocery shopping after dropping the clothes off at the laundry place. yup made daddy choose hagen diaz flavours with me. i said i don't like chocolate okay, he said eh i also don't like chocolate. hahahas so we got the melon flavour and macadamian nuts ones, hurried him off before he wtf at the price. lols.

We went home, crack nuts together, watch hulk and disturb bunneh and lipton.

Mood: Loved =)

2009-12-15T12:44:00.005+03:00

So ya. 2 weeks notice instead of 1 week. still fucked for xmas. picking up after those shitface people. Last night was super busy but fun, cuz my sluts are all working with me, cep 1.

Hopefull the get-together on thursday will happen.

Washing Machine is down. so i got loads of unwash laundry on my floor.

i'm so lazy to handwash them. but what to do. once i finish my laundry, i'll find NEW clothes. ya. i know lazy to the point i wear them once, they go to the bottom of the basket and never see the light again.

I can't find a permanent job. why? cuz i'm travelling every few months this year, what type of boss lets u run off every few months for 10 over days. it's ridonkulas.

i'm not stupid, it's a choice. always get the oh. u working retail.....tot u have a diploma?. u not studying for a degree? ya i am assholes. but i'm having more fun than u guys.

i'm determined to clock in at least 3 trips this year. 2009 - 2 trips

2010 - i'll start with Thailand, Taiwan again if sister gets paycheck! hahahahahahas oh ya. this is my 21st birthday year.

So one more birthday trip? gotta push melbourne, and china in there somewhere.
ya me and china. don't fit the image but i like china. beautiful places

xmas wishlist - I just want book vouchers. let me go crazy at kino. PLEASEEEEE

My Journey on the Yangtze River was pretty amazing, the views, the weather, the silence
after dinner i just went up to deck 6 and sat on the swing set with my ipod although it's freezing like mad and i was just swinging like mad but it's beautiful like mad. how often do u get to see the moon rising on your right and the sun setting on your left at the SAME time. awesomely breathtaking.

No wonder i want to go back right. A new place of cuz. Hopefully the new year i'll get to go Guilin and Jiu Zhai Gou. Here are some pictures~~ of the places.

2009-12-10T18:16:00.002+03:00

Met up with dr mendis today, after a short chat join him at the opening of a jap restaurant opening. i just felt....why humans bother about such petty stuff, exactly how much joy does that brings anyone. i'm curious.

lipton got tired playing with me and fell alsp beside me. first the baby position, then the curl up baby position, next flip the upside down head position, twitch alittle his little paws, now the stretch position cute feets pushing against my arms. now the peaceful angel. i keep putting a piece of jade on his butt. brought back from china, they say jade is good for health. no harm trying.

I Get so much joy from lipton, why not humans.

now i'm writing my letter of resignation. quite sad to leave my precious books...

everything seems so pointless and petty to me.

Watch new moon twice already. 2.5 hrs. is pretty lenghty. would prefer if there's more action. hahas. oh wells.

omfg lipton just ooze cutness out when he sleeps. my baby kitteh!

2009-12-05T21:39:00.001+03:00

I'm Home.

Great Trip.

I Didn't want to come home, but lipton is waiting for me.

2009-11-23T21:30:00.002+03:00

Why Does it feel like i'm dining at an international buffet

And it's giving me a bad effect

Not fresh at all, just dish after dish of jerks and assholes. I guess that's just sums up the male species

Variety, sure alot. not sure if it's worth the price i have to pay that's all.

Why am i speaking in riddles. hiay. only few will understand.

i'm determined to end 2009 with a good date........but i guess it will be one of those dates." hi, fancy a shag?"

Do i have a fuck face. I don't think so. not literally anyway

Gonna be honest, it's tempting.... just ain't so sure what i'll feel afterwards. but jag you saved me, aren't u proud?

who else will understand what i want.

i'm messed up. guess it's just safer to do my nails nice nice instead.

2009-11-22T20:50:00.002+03:00

Super Last Minute Go Zouk

I can't believe i got ready in 10 mins

Anyway, the Crowd was alright until some big fuckers start to choke up the dance floor. did i mention old and balding too!

Benny Benassi was spinning that night, so it's pretty cool. now i know why they offered ear plugs...should have take them. REGRET man

Friday night....all the underage angmoh kids. some looked 12 years old only. somemore they always look older than they really are.

--------------------------------------------------

Then a Few hours later i'm at work

So let me sum up the day's work

I did alot of great stuff for customers, so i got good karma in return, all super nice to me and no difficult customer. Which is fantabulous already right, then this old caucasian uncle gave me his namecard. ya holy shit la. founder of singapore film festival. it's sounds like some big shit. lols but i still think it is pretty damn cool. So maybe maybe i'll send my cv over.....after my trip that is..

Still haven pack my stuff at all. soo lazy

So on my way back home, saw this dude playing rubiks cube, kinda laughed when he completed his puzzle. got funny face. then we started talking and all that shit. unbelievable i went out at his station, so he could give me his contact and he started teaching me how to play rubiks cube....lols. ya and totally weird for me and all. sitting beside him,....what the fuck am i doing here.
anyways. i still think god is trying to punish me, u know those wishes that u say for the sake of the moment and u just felt like saying it out. He's granting them out of spite, maybe because i curse him too much.

So agree with jag. relationships are like ultimate fail. i don't trust love either.

2009-11-18T19:56:00.004+03:00

I'm not happy, today i laughed and was truly happy for 3 mins was because transformers 2 was on and bumble bee was crying begging to go college with sam.

3 mins of my whole day. Thanks Bumble bee

This has officially turned into my personal crazy month

hiay, i feel bad for asking sis to pick me up just now. =( S-O-R-R-Y

sucks. now i feel so bad. argh.

Crazy shopping with Roswin this couple of days, gotta meet up more, she's leaving soon. hiay. but still happy she came =D next year my turn to visit!

Need to start packing for my trip, got a couple of stuff to get.

Today 2 very nice people fed poor jayce who stood outside hungry and tired. thank yous for yr biscuit, tea and donut. from ju and junhao. ya. i just realise all Js

Not happy. not happy. not happy. why am i not happy? I am unable to answer that myself.

Burning up with a fever, thoart hurts like hell, eyes itchy and swollen. Still going to work? no. guess no. i don't give a flying fuck.

lipton doesn't want to cuddle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 ='(

2009-11-13T16:21:00.001+03:00

I don't think i have anything i want to say.

i still hate my job i think. sometimes. people i like are all leaving . so i guesssss it's time for me to make a move. maybe do something i like for a change

2009-11-07T20:04:00.000+03:00

I really don't like crowd.

2009-11-06T12:35:00.002+03:00

Incompetent nincompoops

I tried to be nice, but i simply lost it

I know i've got this really fucked up angry face but man it is effective

Especially when i didn't have breakfast, got yelled out of bed on my OFF day and have to squeeze with the stinky yelling giggling retarded school going monsters.

Starbucks once again messed up my drink. ONLY ONE AT CWP will do that. I don't have any problems elsewhere do i. Shit ass Shit hole.

@ the Bank where they don't seem to get anything done

So was totally pissed off, hanni the lady was scurrying about trying appease us. fuck no you incompetent hamster.

Got her to draft up all the dang paperwork. FEEL MY FURY biatch

Finally settled everything

Hungry and angry, i stomp my way to crystal jade and all i got was slow service.

then I stomp my way home with the roasted duck daddy wanted.

I truly hate cwp.

Car overheated gotta repair AGAIN. Guess we shoulden have bought a French Car huh. don't think they are any good with car production.

What an afternoon...interaction with all the incompetent useless slowfuck hamsters in the service industry.

2009-11-03T18:02:00.003+03:00

Today I had a small chat with a stranger through sms

Which is weird cuz apparently he has no idea why my number is in his phone

which is even weirder that we both attend the same poly

Which is just plain weird. but it was a friendly chat

Something out of the blue just slightly interesting because i'm bored to tears

Visited Dear Jag Goh today

poor thing must take so many injections

glad you got your colour back.

we shall marche soon~

5 sec of baby hug with lipton cuddle cuddle cuddle cuddle cuddle LET GO before he kicks u

The Time now is 11.11pm Is someone missing me? i know i'm missing someone or maybe just a few people

Okay fine i'm fickle minded ya i know that but not really i think

shit

I think i found my perfect geek =)

he's so shy though

i need to work harder

better start revising my c# programming or excel smth

can u be my bf? we'll just need to go shopping for better geeky shoes

=D

<3

2009-10-31T21:37:00.003+03:00

Happy Halloween People! Even the weather is scary but i LoVED it.

still abit bothered by it but i guess it ain't worth it. so much for diy and personalizing gifts. guess that's not in anymore. I don't really want to give a flying fudge anymore. sorry for the trouble sis. despite so many people telling me don't bother. Thanks anyway.

Heres to Continue What our cute cousies have done. nicely done sheep! lols. can't wait to see your next 30.

21. Pass time: I think it's trying to say Past Time? Alot of Pass time is done by using alot of Cheating time. My Past Time is making evil comments and kicking little children.

22. One night stand: is just a quick solution and your penis or pussy might turn green and fall off. So try to avoid unless target is extremely irresistably huge cockerdy HOT. then you are permitted to stalk him/her after the stand.

23. My cell phone: is my connection to my loves.

24. Smoke: If you can carry off the look, if not then don't. Not only it doesn't make you look good, it's giving you cancer. and nobody likes to make out with an ashtray.

25. Fantasy: To be effing rich So i can spend alot to save animals and spend alot to destroy other humans who pissed me off and make abortion legal even after your kid is born and crawling around. -as some mistakes are discovered later

26. College: Sex, Party, Booze. Oh studying? erm i'll think about it.

27. High school life: Wished i was slimmer and you were fatter so i'll appear slimmer.

28. Pajamas: Leopard Preens nightie Too sexy to wear at home. =p

29. Stars: i like lor. what else can u say about stars. twinkle twinkle big big star

30. Center: Giap in the middle? suay lor. cannot move. both sides also got knives

31. Alcohol: Not my best friend.

32. The word love: Don't exist in my world very easily Less than 10 people have earn that. Aren't you proud baobei? you are on my list =D

33. Friends: Friends always have an expiry date, Usually they last from 6 months to 3 years. Only one don't have expiry date and i've already met her, so the rest ain't that important.

34. Money: I want.

35. Heartache: I feel sad, but heart don't ache, it's busy pumping blood, none of it's business to go aching around anyway.

36. Time: passes too slow when u are working, it stops during awkward moments...knnccb. Passes too fast when you are playing.

37. Divorce: can be expensive, call 1800-kill-my-spouse. Press 1 : make it look like an accident. Press 2: Horrible death, can't be recognisable. Press 3: He ran off with his mistress.

38. Dogs: I want 2! Kids I want 2! so they can help clean up after the dogs. no need for delivery, it's so hot now to adopt.

39. Undies: Only wear uber cute ones. when in doubt. don't wear

40. Parents: They are the coolest around.

41. Babies: are the most precious! provided they are not human babies. On the other hand, lion and cheetah babies are just AWWWWWWWW

42. Ex: Experience, Learn from it.

43. Song: Fireflies by Owl City. Don't read too much into the lyrics, if there's ten million fireflies in my room. damnn mama. i ain't going anywhere near them.

44. Color: Fresh blood Red.

45. Weddings: pain to plan, pain to attend, a lifelong pain to many.

46. Pizza: NYDC is good.

47. Hangout: Thomson Road

48. Rest: Disturb my cat and fall asleep with him =)

49. Goal: Kick a child and see it soar through the air. Parents are a main obstacles.

50. Inspiration: Books and youtube videos. Who needs college.

2009-10-30T19:26:00.004+03:00

Let's Do a little twist eh. Instead of First 20 Reactions. Just Write about what you think.

1. Beer: Makes you FAT and Gassy, IT is truly Gross

2. Food: I <3>

3. Relationships: So Far So suay,

4. Your crush: So Far So Gay

5. Power Rangers: My Power Ranger Watch!!!

6. Life: So Far So Lost

7. The President: Barrack Osama

8. Yummy: Mum's Cooking

9. Cars: BMW Z4

10. Movies: Transformer

11. Halloween: sexy black leather costume where i whip alot of people till they bleed

12. Sex: Kamasutra

13. Religion: will never get it. =/

14. Hate: Hate pple whom i loved but aren't worthy of my love, becuz THEY ARE WORTHLESS

15. Fear: ccb knnb beatles who likes to fly into my ROOM! I fear the death of my pet more than i fear mine. If i die first, then i won't be sad if my pet dies after i died. =/

16. Marriage: I come from a very great family, but i have no faith in marriage, on the contrary i believe in divorce and i want to do it happily. both marriage and divorce

17. Blondes: Big boobs and porn stars

18. Slippers: Lame fucker who stole 4 pairs from our house. knnbccb hope he gets stuck in shit and eat loads of shit

19. Shoes: My Walk in Shoe-drobe...hmm when is kor kor moving out. LOL

20. Asians: small eyes. WHY? told my mum not to squint her eyes. SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

2009-10-29T23:05:00.003+03:00

Definition of Neck lump:

A neck lump is any lump, bump, or swelling in the neck.

Considerations:

There are many causes of lumps in the neck. The most frequently seen lumps or swellings are enlarged lymph nodes. These can be caused by bacterial or viral infections, cancer (malignancy), or other rare causes.

Enlargement of the salivary glands under the jaw may be caused by infection or cancer. Lumps in the muscles of the neck -- almost always in the front of the neck -- are caused by injury or torticollis. Lumps in the skin or just below the skin are often caused by cysts, including sebaceous cysts.

The thyroid gland may also produce a lump, multiple lumps, or swelling in the neck as a result of thyroid disease or cancer. Most cancers of the thyroid gland are extremely slow-growing and often curable by surgery, even if they have been present for several years.

All neck lumps in children and adults should be checked immediately. In children, most neck lumps are caused by treatable infections. However, treatment should start quickly to prevent complications or the spread of infection.

As adults age, the likelihood of the lump being a cancer increases, particularly for people who smoke or drink significant amounts of alcohol

So Guess it's 50/50 ; A Cute bump or Cancer. =/

I really do hate puking * i feel fine, mum on the other hand....hmmmmm....:WHEN'S YOUR OFF DAY! FASTER I BRING YOU DO BLOOD TEST! lols. she's so cute sometimes.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

FRIEND OR FOE

working is getting real tricky . Before the battle started today, Murni was telling me never to trust anyone there. Again i guess these kind of stuff can't be avoided, happens everywhere from Folding clothes at Gap, working in a bank to selling books. It's so complicated.

I got what i wanted, which is good because i think i deserved it. Review came back to me wasn't great, but it wasn't bad. Again i coulden give a flying fuck what they say, since i've got a tonn of shit to say about them. I'm still tempted to write a letter to the clueless lady sitting in her office.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Boundaries Motives Reason

I've been thinking alot, i honestly don't see a point. What is your motive? and your reason? even if we are thinking the exact same thing, driven by the exact same motive, i'm still not sure if i'm ready to become that person yet. IF i take that road, if i made that decision. i know for sure, i'll never be the same again. This i am very clear about. Jayce isn't a very loving person already, if i take that risk i might never have the ability to love anyone at all. I'll be a bitch with a cold heart, unfeeling, unmoving.

People around me are worried about my perception and thinking, but honestly i am kinda worried too. I'm changing and i can't seem to stop it, i don't have alot of control.

==============================================================

Wants Lusts Needs

A Cheetah Plushie

A 32 inch LCD TV, high resolution, Speakers, TV tuner + CPU

I need a Hug

I need new matching super duper cute PJS.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm Tired all the time =(

2009-10-28T15:18:00.002+03:00

Hiay Mum wanna drag me off to do a blood test

i'm sure it's nothing, then again i'm no doc.

What am i gonna do with my life

live it with a purpose that i can't seem to find

People are too anal over the details, the small stuff. Why should those little stuff matters? life is so big. this whole place is huge. why are we so messed up. It's like realizing you are gonna die and all u can do is to make sure your will is done proper and bills are paid, whoever and whatever shit is done.

Why are we doing stuff that don't matter.? Don't u see? Can't u see?

The way i'm seeing things is....nothing else matters.

then again, Maybe i'm selfish.

I'm staring at a picture that is too flying big for me to handle

one of those days

I really need a purpose now.

2009-10-27T19:27:00.002+03:00

I'm Sick

I want a big teddy bear and chicken soup

=(

I can't stand lights, now i can't even read!!! eyes hurts

likess hellssss WHY is this happening to

meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee as if i'm not depressed enough.

walking, talking, slacking in the dark.

WHY is my job suck.

2009-10-23T21:31:00.002+03:00

My Whole Body Hurts except my hair

My Back is killing me, i'm only 20. =(

IS there a purpose in life? where can i find it?

What's the point

Hugs Hugs Hugs Lippie

I need love love love, i have lipton, he could use a playmate, how about a leopard, a distant cousin

So tempted to get a itouch, purely just to play apps.

I don't wanna be bored on the train, the plane, the cruise.

but then again, i get bored with the itouch pretty fast too.

Ahh shucks. is there no more cool gadgets?!

2009-10-16T20:41:00.002+03:00

I don't know if i'm really bored? or depressed? Angry?

I feel like poison.

feel like doing stupid stuff.

I feel it's unfair that i have to work hard for some things that u just took so easily

U are a Taker who feels U are a Giver.

Remember this exercise we did in school. HAH i nearly spit out laughing in this frends' face. She thinks She's a fucking giver. She's in fact just a cruel little bitch who's cruel even to her own already pathetic family.

I can't judge much can i. I'm ain't exactly the model daughter or some shit. i've got everything i can ever asked for and i'm still selfish. i still hate sharing. i still feel. I OUGHT to have that.

OUGHT to shall have to be eliminated.

I don't even want to share lipton. See why he sleeps with me at night. so that i can hug him and have him all to myself. he's my best friend

I spend my whole day lying in bed staring at my laptop and it's been 12 hours.

i feel that i no longer have the right or luxury to do what i want anymore. it's not really my life already ain't it. I don't even want to think about university cuz of the costs that will set me back for pretty much the fucking rest of my life. IT's unfair isn't it. LIFE is unfair.

I KNOW THAT.

fucking piece of shit, i'm not even happy. don't call me materialistic or spoilt. when u are not happy u are not happy. sick of people telling me, u have a good life, u've got everything u want, u don't have to worry about bills and shit. u've got abloody roof over your head. why the fuck are u still so ungrateful. hello? i said i'm not happy. exactly why i have no idea. I want to vent i'll vent, don't tell me to shut off my feelings like it's a tap. My mum looks at me as if i can shut off my feelings just because she disapproves, now if i can do that, won't that make me pretty fucking dangerous mental case walking around. no longer ruled by useless emotion.

I can kill my husband without even feeling sad, i can throw my kids down the drain without feeling shit now can i.

what kind of logic is that.

I believe no amount of reasoning can shut off or altered someone's feelings. It's ridiculous ain't it. if u can do that through reasoning and talk, what's the need for prisons, pyschiatrist or whatever neurologist shit.

Lippie is sleeping in his budhha praying pose again. i feel alittle better.

2009-10-15T20:02:00.002+03:00

If you choose to seek help, will you accept it? If you will, then go ahead, if you don't then it's pretty much ain't helping you. So don't tell me everyone is not perfect and they should read self-help books. I don't need a book to teach me how to live my life or fix my marriage. Books that gives you knowledge, enpowers you to make good decisions is very different from ones that tells you what to do.

So it just seem to me, you are mindless lack of self assurance prick.

HOW TO FIX YOUR MARRIAGE WITHOUT TALKING

Common sense 1: DUH! maybe that's the problem? no communication?

I wonder what brilliant ideas can that book give you, honestly

1. look sincerely into your partners' eyes and try to send a brainwave message telling him how you feel.

2. Use wild gesturing to get him to wash the dishes

3. point to baby's ass and hoping he gets the hint to change the diapers

4. Draw Mindmaps

5. List down areas of improvements that can be made to your marriage n stick it on his forehead

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bloody Brilliant more titles.

How to use your brains ( you should be shot)

Girl's guide to life

Bring out the genius in your child ( i'm sure a genius don't really need directions)

How to become a millionaire! ( buy one, and u just made the writer a millionaire, prolly 35.90 less to reaching your own million)

How to spend less without feeling miserable!

Ways to handle a divorce ( call your effing lawyer)

I love him but i don't love him

Men are from mars, women are from venus

Why men marry bitches ( mostly are just slags)

The 5 languages of LOVE ( how interracial are you? seriously)

2009-10-13T19:02:00.002+03:00

I'm not a big fan of awkward silence, maybe that's why i play the joker part so often

Sometimes i need time alone. i like it

Try Working for someone who can't make up their damn mind. I wasn't too angry because i was bored.

Basically Work was super slack today, sat infront of the pillar with chalk and started to draw

Lipton took my blanket to sleep on, refuse to budge. I was freezing, sucks didn't sleep well. kept yawning at work

Dad said China would prolly be freezing when we start our vacation, i love the cold. i can wear my pretty coat and boots. hopefully it'll snow like mad in the mountain regions.

Guess this isn't really a happy month, why? everyone seems bothered by some problems. those people who matter to me anyway.

I can't bear to leave my Staff discount behind. =(

I have 28 new books sitting on my dresser. It's so pretty

I'm totally random i know.

I can't wait for the thailand trip, it's so happening. No EXCUSES

So i'm left with a pathetic 400 dollars.

Guess shopping comes to an end. for now

I think i kinda like my work

I'm looking for my Dream Job. Wish me luck

It's Kitty BubbleBath Day

Time to give my tomcat a shower a scrub and some pawdicure.

Bored

I miss Lorong 5's supper

I miss puffy the funny licky bunny

2009-10-12T15:05:00.001+03:00

IF you think i'm acting like a bitch

Actually

i'm still playing nice

Just one fine day

2009-10-10T17:51:00.001+03:00

They are so pretty huh. I wanna hug one now

2009-10-09T19:12:00.002+03:00

JAN 2010 - Bangkok Trip

It's Time

Shopping

Girls, Pack NO bags

Should my next big trip be Australia or London?

I'm gonna work and save like crazy

Guess i would need a job

Saturday

I shall do some shopping!~

2009-10-09T18:47:00.000+03:00

CONGRATS MS JIE JIE. PASSING YOUR DRIVING.!~

2009-10-06T17:50:00.002+03:00

I've Been Awake for 20 hours.

I've been working for 8 hours

I've been out since 7am

I'm Still awake after 11pm

I'm superwoman

I'm Quite Tired

I really don't like sleeping

I wonder if i should get caffeine pills

My Bank kinda scolded me for not saving this month. lol. promptly received the letter on the second day.

We make life too darn complicated sometimes

The fights

The regrets

The Rush

The Competition

The Lust, the Wants, the image

2009-10-05T18:24:00.002+03:00

PAY DAY WEEK

Monday has ended quite nicely, work was fun

Tuesday Shall be another good day i hope, meet denise after work then meet charmaine after her work.

Wednesday it's butter with the girls and darling son's jag goh's birthday!
* Happy birthday first k, if you are reading this*

Thursday shall be another good day of work i hope

Friday is outing with the girls from borders pam and nicole fran.
St James after that? or supper?

Saturday shopping with new friend callum. i hope topshop still got stock for my DRESSSSS PLEASE don't let it be out of stockkkkk i'll cryyyyyy until i faint.

Sunday PLEASE LET ME GET OFF, I wanna visit money the dog. =)
and PLAY MAHJONG!!!!

SO HAPPENING. All seems to be squeeze into this week.

I pray i still have some pay left by sunday.

2009-10-04T17:21:00.003+03:00

Sunday

2pm - Slide off my bed, reply charmaine's msg

2.30pm - swallow some lunch

3.00pm - Shower and makeup

4.00pm - get my butt in the car and meet char at novena

Thanks Gerald, for the job offer. He said there's alot of angmoh in his office and they all like big boobies. Thanks for the compliment but i don't think i'm very big. hahas i love my little britian bitch. Yes Actual Job offer is to assist some sales rep thingy? har? don't know if i can do it, if i can't they can always fire me. Oh wells. I'll just wear some killer tops and shoes, that should do the trick eh.

Office Romance - how very exciting =P

OMG i can't wait.

HALLOWEEN is COMING UP~~~

sighh.....dress up as? vampire like boring? i'm thinking leather and corset. WOOHOOO and whip muhahahahahahahhas

Monday

Work as usual, but where is my PAY??????!!!!!!!!!

I've never been so desperate before!!!

20 bucks in my bank. NOT COOL

ARGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

2009-10-01T20:13:00.002+03:00

I hate driving blindly - no gps....i'm pretty much guessing which road looks more "right"?

I'm waiting for Frankie Boyle's new comedy show. hope it comes out soon!

Michael Mcintyre still cracks me up ALL the time, so when i'm feeling sad, i'll youtube him. sigh.....where's my comedy bf? just make me laugh, i'm your bitch

2009-10-01T11:54:00.002+03:00

Buttermates

char's hope of seeing many familiar faces kinda went wrong -.-

Finally saw felicia since our last meeting millions of years ago!!!

Char, me, feli, ziemah, jason, jag, dick, lols and some other random people

arghhhhhhhhhh i miss the old days, money was rolling in, we're having fun.

now i have to wait for pay day-.-

Rush down to butter after work with jag. alright i made it sound like a chore/mission. IT's a ritual

just wondering how long will i get over this urge to club.

saw jag's friends. dick wank. - frend's name . suits him.

hmmmmm saw some people we rather not see.......... wad up with the anti-social-ness. i think they are angry. seriously.....mistakes. hahahahas okay we party once together.....what were they expecting? eh? some group hugs to welcome them ?

I love the bouncers there, they are the best.

rule no. 1 - Always be nice to the bouncers. you know who watches the q and doors.

Noraini gave me a really superb schedule. basically i can party everyday if i want, shopping everyday if i want. she's the sweeetest manager. =)

i'm a little bored of butter fact really....rnb was pretty screwed up. as if the songs aren't bad enough......there's 2 major pauses....technical problems. instantaeous boos from the crowd. suck balls man. first time. had more fun in mambo. guys there alittle hippy...and weird....but...hmmm.
guys at mambo - abit diva. all wanna stand at the podium -.- they think they are the dancing queens or smth.

GOING TO MEET TIAN NOW. I SHALL DRIVE. driving alone rocks. i can sing SING SING!!!

I miss my greek god and my loves.

CAT TALES

- got home at 4am, baby waited up all night long he missessss me soooo muchie
ran to the dooor to fetch me, waited in the shower while i bathe, play with me through the shower door, basically stick to me like glue =D

Kiss me twice when i sleep, then curl up beside me. AWWWWWWW right. he knows i'm tired, that's why he didn't step on me. =D just let me conkout like a log.

2009-09-27T18:22:00.002+03:00

My Obessesion with Books has finally left me broke.

On My Dresser, There's 26 new books; unread

I have an addiction

Am i trying to make up for something? maybe

They make me feel good for half a day

I'm 20 am i ever gonna be good at anything i do?

My Piano? Organ?

Will i ever get to play an electric violin?

Today i embraced money(Dog) slobber and licks i think i love him

My cat just kiss me, i love him

I just wanna roll around and take a nap with cheetahs

I wish i'd love myself more, maybe till then someone will love me

i don't love myself alot, i don't even like myself too much

am i not capable of being a nice person? I don't feel it thus i don't do it

no use being a hypocrite to be accepted right?

I think i facebook too goddamn much

I still love ben adams <3

2009-09-23T18:17:00.002+03:00

Staging the Perfect Murder
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Dexter Morgan could use some tips from me

1. Keep the crime scene secured! he just picks a place relevant to the criminal and can't even be bothered to keep it locked or something

2. Secure the body parts with weights and sink it for the bottom feeders to eat! why the hell must he put them in tiny trash bags and sink it let it carried away by the gulf stream or some shit, i don't think fishes can open the bags themselves!

Anyway, i think i can do so much better, but i'll prolly have problem with the dead weight. hahahas literally dead weight.

Always have a fool proof checklist yeah. i'm still thinking of the checklist. for what reason i don't really know.